AGNASHINI ADVENTURES

Ok so until now i was writing my stories under the pseudonym of Jatin.But now i want to write this real story which i hope u readers enjoy.
Well i had this dream of living in the dense forests,with fresh water flowing on the side and me living in solitude far away from polluted minds and mindsets of the cities.Basically wanted to live the life of the early man knowing fully well that it was not possible now.You see even i have responsibilities.

Anyways this was in July 2007.I had gone to my village GudKagal,Kumta.The Agnashini Mountain stood tall,handsome and mysterious front of our grandfather's home.Lot many stories about the mountain were going around about it,of ghosts who would strike down people in the narrow creeks in the night after 12,of foxes and wolves which had inhabited the forest in the mountain,of an old king's 'NIDHI'(meaning pots of golds).

The king was KrishnaDevaraya and he had a Guru named Vidyaranya Pandit of whom we are all the descendents.The story was that some of the king's gold was hid by the Guru's disciples in the mountains on the request of the King.

Right then we had arrived in our ancestral home.Another of my techie cousin had also come along with us.He was a adventure freak and he had as many as 65 treks,4 bungee jumps and many other adventure sports to his name.We had planned to go for a trek of the Agnishini Betta,but this had to be a clandestine adventure.The stories told were so horrifying that none of our parents would have any hesitation in dismissing our request.

So the plan was set.We were to demystify all the stories we had heard one by one.We had to take care also of one another thing.Poisonous king cobras and small 'dhoolbakris'(dust snakes),pythons and other poison heavy lizards.So we had to take care of taking anti-venom injections.Having gone on such dangerous treks before my cousin Manjunath Bhat had sufficient experience in handling all the logistics.

We included two other people in our group.One Raghu Bhat-the local boy who had attempted to scale the Agnashini before(also my maternal cousin) and another Murthy who just wanted to part of something unique.He was off late going through a bad patch in his life as he had failed in degree exams and was having a rough time with his parents continuous rebuke.He wanted to just get away from all that atleast for a while.

We were to go in the night after 12 when all in the home were sound asleep.One problem was my grandfather used to sleep outside on the cot in the 'Angala'( for people not familiar with the term-its an open area in villages outside the house made of cowdung).His senses even at the ripe age of 81 was better than any of ours.So we had to be extra careful.Then there was the dog problem-"Raju" was always alert even in its sleep.

We had kept our backpacks ready in the evening in the water pump room so that no one would notice it. Bhat and Murthy were supposed to meet us near the base. We slowly slipped away from the home attracting of course some snarls from Raju.It was 11.45 pm and we had made our way through the narrow creek adjacent to our jameenu.(meaning land).

The road leading to the mountain had traces of tar here and there but due to the coastal rains they were ravaged.It was as though the skin was ripped apart and only the bones(stones) were showing. We first waited for the time to strike 12.So after putting all the medicines in one container-the antivenom given by our good friend Babu doctor included.

Murthy came stylishly dressed not looking one bit that he was coming for a rigourous trek. We looked up the giant mountain,although not big on height it was spread over a large area with the Arabian Sea to the left of it and the Agnashini river to the right.Agnashini beckoned now and we started our trek to unravel the various stories we had heard as young children.

As we made our way through we came across an isolated shack.Bhat said that it was haunted in his usual eyes wide opened manner.He had this habit of giving wind to any rumours.Otherwise he was a purohit in the Amnnavra Temple under the guidance of his father.We dint believe him at first.Manju in his usual abrasive style went inside the cottage to check it out for himself.We all followed him although Murthy stood outside(he dint want to take a chance ;) ).

There was a tiny chimney burning in the corner which indicated to us that the shack was habitated.The doors and the ceiling had begun to leak not being able to take the battering of the rains.The shack was very shabby and on the floor lay a half empty notebook.It was written in malayam. Kumta had a history of people from Kerala coming and settling there either as fishermen,priests or even pimps.

None of us could make any sense of it.Just then we heard footsteps at a distance outside.We rushed outside and hid behind the dense shrubs.The footsteps were becoming more shriller and shriller.Just then we saw a person wearing a cap,torn shirt and dhoti getting into the shack.

The Gud Kagal village was small and hence we would know most of them in the village.We had not been able to see his face properly.Just then he again went out with the notebook which we had seen.We wondered which person in his right senses would roam around at this hour,but then weren't we doing the same thing.

Then Manju said that we dint have any more time to waste as we had to get back to home by dawn.So we decided to drop the case of the mysterious wanderer then and continued up.After a continuous trek of half an hour with nothing much eventful to have happened we decided to take some rest.As it rained the previous evening it was hard to find a place which was not marshy or wet.

Just then we heard wolf cries. It seemed whatever it was ,it was nearby.Manju and Bhat picked up some wood and lit them,just in case there were animals around.Our bronze coloured torches had become redundant in these days of mobile torches.

To be continued soon.............

Season 1 Episode 4

The goons barged in and one of them said that it would not be good if the complaint was not taken back.Just then M.Venkatesh entered the scene and was asking that fellow to calm down as if to show he was a fair person.He asked Shashwath to kindly take the complaint back.Anybody who met Venkatesh would have been fooled by his sugar sweet voice,his boyish looks and cool demeanour.Nobody knew of the monster lurking inside.

Next day as Shashwath was leaving for his college which he used to rarely attend,on his bike,Sunaina asked whether he could drop her as both their colleges were nearby.Shashwath had never had a girl sit on the backseat of his bike except for his mother.He showed a bit of reluctance but Sunaina said that she had an important test that day and therefore he finally agreed.There was a lot of traffic that day as one of the political party had organised a protest rally bang in the middle of the city.

Shashwath was really pissed off by this indifference of these political leaders for the common man.The more disturbing part was that they were not even apologetic after seeing the mess and chaos they had created.Somehow Shashwath managed to drop her in time.He also attended his college after 3 months since the last time.

Sunaina's friends had seen a boy dropping her and after the test they asked her that.Now she thought that if she said that he was her boyfriend she would atleast end the back slapping comments from her friends momentarily.She said that as well in reaction to which a lot of teenage talk happened.

She started asking drop from him daily and even he slowly started getting used to the idea of a girl on the backseat.One such day she suggested that they have a coffee together in Cafe Coffee Day.He resisted.Why to go there? he asked.For him the people inside these stylish glass houses lived in their own castles far away from reality.He felt uncomfortable within such atmospheres.Sunaina was different.These were places to hang out with friends,have fun and live life.

Finally it was the girl's call.She even promised to pay for it.When the coffees arrived at the table,Shashwath as was his habit of drinking tea/coffee fast gulped the entire drink at a stretch.Sunaina was enjoying was enjoying each sip when she noticed that he had finished fast and was sitting there waiting for her to finish fast.He wanted to get out of there while she just wanted company.

She then ordered something to eat but even in that he was over with in lightning speed."You are always this fast or today something special?"she quipped.Shashwath was an impatient person and around girls he used to be shy also.He waited till she finished hers but all the time just giving her a reminder that he was getting late.

As he was dropping Sunaina near her college gate her friends talked to him as they would with their other friend's boyfriends.He was not getting a hang of what they were meaning but Sunaina managed to send him away."He doesnt speak much,does he" asked one of her friends.She just smiled and tried to divert the attention to something else.

As Shashwath and Sunaina grew a bit more friendly she asked him as to why he used to dress like an old politician.He asked as to why she was bothered about that."You dont respect others opinions only,you are so resistant to change"she said.He replied back "if i change my every trait for each and every person,then what would be left of me?".That struck a chord with her.She realised her childishness in trying to copy the trend.

She also dint want to change because it was the "in" thing but now she still had 2 years in college and for that to go smoothly she dint want to flip flop on this.So the status quo continued.

March 11th 2009:Dawn 4.00 am
Some bags were being offloaded from a truck near ShivajiNagar.The BOMBS were ready and the BOMBERS were even more.The plan was of massive simultaneous serial blasts in the crowded markets of Bangalore.Teams were divided and the plan was being reaffirmed.One team left to City market,one to Malleswaram,one to Basavangudi,One to Yeshwantpur and another to M.G.Road.

This was the sleeper cell of Jung-E-Farat which had become active after months of training and recceing.However this was being used as a diversionary tactic for their ultimate goal of entering Vidhan Soudha and holding the state and country to ransom.Rajat and Varun were about to go together for another audition in Varun's father' car.Varun' father was a government employee and was a highly corrupt officer.His vehicle had the green pass which allowed the car to enter right upto the main entrance as he was a high ranking officer.Through all their sources the fidayeens had come to know of this.

The terrorists had also taken into confidence an inside person in the Vidhan Soudha to keep all the necessary equipment ready,enter them away from the prying security eyes.Everything was perfectly planned including who would join them once they were inside.Two men approaching as Bank Insurance agents had approached Varun's father some days before and had asked his appointment in the morning of march 11th.

They came that morning to the house and asked whether they could go along with him in the car.Varun's father knew that if this contract was made his pockets would be refilled to a large extent.He greedily agreed.But he said that on the way he had to drop of certain documents in Soudha.

9.30 a.m: Bombs were in place.Everything was set.Bomb Blasts had to happen just as the car entered near the Vidhan Soudha security gate.Mobiles were the triggering device.As Rajat and Varun sat inside the car which was jampacked due to the new guests,there was insufficient place.They somehow adjusted and the car sped away.

10 a.m:As the car stood for checking,a mobile button was pressed and......

To be continued.......

Season 1 Episode 3

For his good luck it seemed that the conductor almost looked through him.It seemed he could not remember who he was.But for Rahul the case or the conductor was least of his worries.He was thinking of his last 10 days of college life and his girlfriend Sheetal Bhakshi.He dint how it would be possible for him to continue with the relationship.

Everytime he imagined some sort of a future with her he could sense something inside in his head echo with his relatives small talk about one of his aunt's daughter who had married someone from another caste and their constant jibbing about them.

He had always been on the right side of the
society acceptednorms-goodacademics,cultured,caretaker,responsible etc.Now he was not ready to go against his own outer image.Last day of college soon approached and he was bidding goodbye to all his friends.As he stood near the gulmohar tree in the college ground with the old leaves lying around him and colourful leaves above,he thought of the first time he had met Sheetal in the exact same place.

They had met as strangers and they had to separate like that.She came.As he looked into her eyes,he could not believe he could not look at them again.She asked him as to what was wrong with him.But instead of learning the real reason she assumed that he was sad because he would not be able to meet his best buddies in college as regularly as before.She even went to the extent of saying that she would make sure that the guys would be meeting up regularly.

He dint want to break the sweet girl's heart by telling her that it was the last time they would be meeting.Holding her hand he said he could just mutter out "I hope i can meet you atleast more than the times i meet my other friends".She sensed something wrong.Rahul had never talked formally with her before.Before she could ask,he said he had to leave for his home as some relatives were coming by.

Before he went out of the college gate he could not help but look back at her lovely face once more.She stood there looking at him with a face that only illuminated of her love for him.He controlled himself and climbed the bus to his home.As was his regular habit,he immediately plugged into FM Radio 94.3 in the mobile.As though by coincidence but aptly "Ghajini's Kaise Mujhe Tum Mil Gayi" was playing.

He had heard it umpteen times before but now the song meant more than just Rahman's soulful sound.As the song played on he could imagine the time he had spent with her.Since the time he had met her his viewpoint regarding various things had changed.The night sky had changed from starry to romantic,candles meant love and not just light.He knew he was punishing himself by letting go of her but dint how to do this.He remembered the time she sent message after message to ask how he was feeling after the bus conductor fiasco.

As the various scenes flashed through he realised his stop had come and got down.Just then his mobile beeped.It was a message from Sheetal "Dont forget me" was written.
His hands trembled.This was the toughest test he was facing till then.Relationships had got more complicated than any of the complicated formula he had studied in his engineering.

As he walked past the park he saw Rajat and Varun with their respective girlfriends enjoy the evening near the park fountain.He dint know why only the rich got all they wanted without trying too hard and he had to adhere to all the society rules.Even Venkatesh's "Chokras" could talk to any girl with the people passing bye not even turning a eye."Why Me GOD??".As it is the middle class had to face the wrath of the SYSTEM the most and now even their personal life had rules imposed on them.

If one love story was on the verge of breaking up another one was just starting.Shashwath had organised a protest in front of the police commissioner's office due to the inaction with regard to bringing the eve teasers of Sunaina to book in the last so many days.The police commissioner had finally admitted the F.I.R.Shashwath had brought a copy of that to Rao household.

Sunaina had always thought of Shashwath of as a jobless person,but what he was doing on behalf of her had forced her to look at him in a different perspective.As Shashwath was leaving to his home after having given the copy,Sunaina came out to thank him.He mumbled something and went away from there.He was extremely conscious when talking to girls.

The next day Venkatesh's goons stormed into Shashwath home and..............

To be continued.......

Season 1 Episode 2

There was a park in Shanti Nagar in which there was a room built.It was declared as a library when the park was planned out by the BBMP.But a local corporator M.Venkatesh and his goons were running it as a gymnasium by the day and a brothel by the night.

The goons used to eve tease the girls taking a walk there during the evening.Sunaina had gone there one evening and was taking a walk along with one of her college friend who had come to her house.Sunaina was wearing a pink skirt and this seemed enticing enough to the testerone heavy goons of Venkatesh.

One of them try to rub up against her when the girls were passing by.This brazen act continued with another one of them joining and trying to pull the skirt of Sunaina.She cried out and this led to a horde of people of gathering.One of the elderly rebuked the boys and escorted the girls back to Sunaina's home.

The other people knew of the power of those goons and went away silently not realising that their daughters or wives would be in the same position one day.Nobody dared to voice their opinion against the goons because of the "connections" and the power they had.

Sunaina's father was extremely angry and decided it was time to take some action.He decided that he would lodge a complaint with the local police station.However the Superintendent there was also hand in glove with M.Venkatesh.He took the complaint but no action was taken in the following days.However some of the people had begun to talk in hushed tones that it was not right for a girl to walk in skirts in that park knowing that goondas stayed there.

Some even had gone to the extent to say that she might have gone there on purpose to seek attention.Sunaina's parents had made sure that she dint get to listen all this as they knew she was a very sensitive girl and she may take it wrongly.Though Shashwath had strong dislike for Sunaina he went along with Sunaina's father to the corporator's home but he dint ask them to sit as they were not "powerful".

Sunaina's father was feeling helpless.The association meeting happened and all took an unanimous decision to restore the room in the park to a library.They sent a memorandum to the BBMP but empty promises were many but again nothing happened.Soon the fracas was forgotten by everyone else but the scars for Sunaina and her family dint go away.

Neha was a pillar of support for Sunaina and she dropped Sunaina to college everyday as Sunaina dint have the spirit to go alone.Neha was not feeling right about the inaction by the authorities.She decided to take the media route.She contacted one of her contacts in TV9 and compelled them to air a program about this issue.

However the channel aired the program in such a manner that Sunaina's character was also doubted.Sunaina's parents had started getting calls from their relatives and the usual mocking and cynical questions followed.They could not take it and they were angry with Neha and Sunaina for having done this without their knowledge.Sunaina's father wept and asked Neha to leave them alone.

Rajat was told about this episode but as always he was lost in his own world.He and his friend Varun had auditioned jointly for the role and the results were about to put up in a few days.In the mean time they had gone partying to a pub.Neha had also come along with her friends.Some of her friends were drinking.Rajat saw this.Although he used to act all cool and never had any biases about girls going to pubs and all,he went over to Neha and asked "Hey dont drink yaar,you know girls...i mean girls drinking doesnt look right you know??"

Neha looked with a puzzled face.It was a surprise as the "cool" Rajat could ask this.Although she did not drink she found Rajat a hypocrite.She dint know why girls having their share of fun was looked through a tinted glass.She thought about it on her way back home.

Meanwhile Shashwath had convinced Rahul to lodge a complaint against the bus conductor.Two days later Rahul climbed a bus back to his home from college.To his surprise it was the same conductor!! They looked at each other and ...

To be continued......

SEASON 1-Episode 1

"Bhaiyyo aur Behno,We are the change you have been looking for,we are a party with a difference,we are for the aam admi".Shashwath woke up with a thud.He still remembered the leader's words during a rally held in his college grounds.He was so impressed by the oratory skills of the leader that he had decided to join the party as a member of the youth division of the party.It was 3 years ago.He was beginning to realise the purposelessness.

He had been fooled as had the billions of other aam admi by the false promises.He did not believe in the party idealogy any more as the party itself was not following it.Realising the selfishness of the leaders he wondered whether not giving priority to his studies,being smirked at by society and not even enjoying the work, was worth it.

Just then he heard his father speaking to his mother in the other room about his doomed career.His father was an honest government lower level official.He could hear his father say that he was humiliated when his friends talk about their children who were software engineers or doctors and their six-figure salaries and how he could not proudly talk about his son.

In the morning Sunaina came to ask for milk to his home.They both used to not like each other as he was everything she was not looking for in a boy and she was just a girl who was pretty with no brains for him.They had not bothered to understand each other.Plus her indifference about the society only angered him.

Sunaina gave him a twisted face look and went away from there.He could not believe how could the other youngsters only think about themselves and nothing about the society.He dint like this lackadaisical attitude but what could he do,he was swimming against the tide.

Sunaina on the other hand did not know where her life was going,not that she cared.Valentines day was approaching and she dint have a boyfriend to show off in her Girls-only college.It was the norm and she was feeling the peer pressure.

But she dint want to fall in love with some random guy,but wanted to have the kind of love shown in SRK movies.She was a huge fan of his.Her parents were highly learned people and she being the only child to them wanted her to go for higher studies but Sunaina just wanted to get out of the student mode.

Rahul was packing his bag for college.He was in the final semester of engineering.Everything was going right for this son of a bank manager.He had a rocking career, a dream job and thinking of going abroad for his further studies,a sweet girlfriend about whom he had not told his ultra conservative parents(although they had doubted why his mobile used to vibrate so frequently during the night hours.)

He climbed the bus to college.The conductor took the 10 rupee note for the ticket of 8 rupees,he wrote "2 to give" on the back of the ticket.Rahul then saw the conductor giving change to other people.When he confronted the conductor,the latter abused him with the dirtiest of language.

The conductor said he knew the youth have hot blood and spend their father's money on drinks and cigarettes.Rahul could not take this abuse and retorted back.The recalcitrant conductor virtually threw Rahul out from the slow speed running bus and threw the 2 rupee coin on his face and the bus drove away.

With his shirt all messed up and pant slightly torn he could not believe a person who was right could be treated like this,let alone how a human being could treat another!!He decided to go back to his home.On the way back he met Rajat.He was all decked up with a swanky shirt and torn jeans.He was auditioning for a role of a youngster in a new tv serial.

The casting directors had come to his acting school for the auditions.When Rahul told what had happened to him,Rajat carelessly asked as to why he had to take panga with the conductor for two rupees.

"This is India dude,you have to adjust!!,you are not James Bond man!!" was the answer.This was typical of Rajat.He told this and went away from there.When he reached the gate Neha was leaving for her Arts college.She told that he could go to the "always free" Shashwath and ask his help whether they could lodge any complaint against the conductor.Rahul said that all this drivers and conductors have a powerful lobby and he did not want to invite trouble for his family.

Neha advised him to not tell about this incident to his best friend Shashwath as he would force him to lodge a complaint.Rahul then went to his house and was nursed by his very angry mother.

Diaries of a Common Man-A New Revolution

Welcome to the life of the AAM ADMI. We are a funny bunch of people.We are the hardest working people and take the oppression imposed on us by well "funny" politicians with the phrase "Thoda Adjust karo".10 people sit on a bench meant for 2.We drive through potholes on roads never once asking for accountability for the taxes we pay.We have big dreams,big aspirations but dont want others to have the same.We go green with envy when someone else from our society buys a new car.

We want the surroundings clean but only in front of our houses.Other people can go take a hike.We think a lot before helping anybody-"What favor can i ask in return?".We spit,shit and do all other dirty work but get hyper critical when we see others do the same.Sometimes i dont know whether the rules were meant to follow or break.We worship our cricketers like demi-gods but then hate them as devils when they lose two matches on a trot.

We buy things not according to our need but just to show to the society that even we are there in the league.We are the worst behaving people when we travel abroad and are the worst hosts too.We sometimes walk for 5 kms just to save a rupee but dont mind spending obnoxiously on our weddings.We dont mind having slums in our neighbours but yell our lungs out when a foreigner makes a film on it.

We are all this and more,we have more negative qualities than any stupid blogger can write but you know what we are the Great Indian Middle Class. We are 700 million strong,independent minded.We face all the obstacles which most in the world dont face and yet are LIVING.

Welcome to the Diaries of a Common Man.Welcome to Shanti Nagar.This area's people face the same adverseries that many of us face.But then they took destiny into their own hands.This movement was started by the youth of the area and that resulted in a chain reaction.

Well let me introduce the main characters of Shanti Nagar:
Shashwath Nigam: The boy with the most vocal political voice.All he cares about are the injustices that the people face.He was a rebel and an anti-establishment kind of person.But he was very poor at academics and had become a figure of ridicule in the area and his relatives.Everyone looked down upon him as a fakir with a 3rd rate hobby of politics and his dhoti-kurta style only emphasized that.Although he used to help out the elderly and the women with their troubles his status did not change.He wanted to get into politics and bring about a change.But only he believed in his dream.He belonged to the old school of boys.

Rahul Jaiswal: The blue-eyed boy of Shanti Nagar.He was a topper in studies and a fantastic athlete as well.All the mothers who were due to give birth wished their children to grow up as an allrounder like him.Where there is praise there is envy as well,so some of them even secretly wished that he could no longer be at the pedestal of success.Everything was going right for him.
He wanted to go abroad for his further studies.

Neha Malhotra: The dream girl of the Shanti Nagar boys.Her dressing style had become quite a rage among the girls both in her college and Shanti Nagar.The boys used to try out various ways to flirt with her but Neha was conservative in the core.She liked to have fun but by not crossing the boundaries.She was fairly good at studies but was more good at designing dresses.She wanted to be a fashion designer but her orthodox parents did not want her to get lost in the maya jaal of the fashion world.

Sunaina Rao: She was the average Jane.She was waiting for her dream man to come to her.She was a hopeless romantic.Also a sentimental cry baby-crying at the smallest of remarks or retribution.She was a dreamer and her dreams did not go beyond Mills and Boon type romantic thoughts.Academics was of last priority to her and her parents were always giving the example of Neha and how she was not a patch on her.

Rajat Patel: He wanted to be an actor.He was from one of the richer families of Shanti Nagar.If you ask him he would not even know the Prime Minister of India but would know the name of the assistant director of even a B-grade movie.Such was his prowess in the knowledge of entertainment business.He was trying to get a break in one of the roles of a new Tv serial. He was a floater,always minding his own business and acting dumb about the rest.

This was what they were but what they became and their journey to this will be told in the coming parts.Come join me in their journey of destiny.

WHAT'S YOUR RASHI??-- 7 days 7 parts.

Name:Jatin Desai Age:21 Zodiac Sign:Gemini

DAY 1

FEB 15th:Day of the lunar eclipse:the day when most astrologers come out with their predictions of the future for all the "rashis".I was eagerly waiting for my future,rather the probability of my future.For 10 minutes my future lay in some stranger's hands who was racketing out everyone's future as though he had a special communication with GOD above.He had become GOD's avatar on land for us mortals.
After 3 signs came mine.I wanted to know how my future was going to be for that week.I was having an intercollege fest that week and was participating in two events.Since i was a blind believer in astrology i was keen for that week's outlook.After the customary touching of ears and praying for a moment the Dharma specialist told this

"People belonging to this rashi have to be careful this week.Specially people in love or falling in love,there is a chance of being fooled or frauded.Trouble may come from any known or unknown direction.Be extremely careful.It can be life changing.Nothing is what it looks like.Be careful"
he ringed repeatedly.

"Huh!!" I mean what the f*#@.So much about a topic i was not thinking about it then and so less about what i was thinking about.

Anyways i had to leave to the fest that evening for reporting at that place.

I was to go alone from Bangalore while the rest of the college gang were coming by bus from Mysore.I left at 5 in the evening by bus as we had to report by 8.30 in the night at SBMJC the host college.I dint know where exactly the college was located.I asked for directions from one of the fellas who had already reached there.What he told was a long route but that was the only route from Mysore side.But from Bangalore it was 40 km far.Since i dint know the exact location i followed the route told.I landed up in Ramnagaram thinking it was there.

After questioning some locals about the college i drew a blank.Then took an auto to Ramnagaram circle.I again called and my friend said it was in Kanakapura.There was a remote road to it.It was dark and there was no trace of people.To my luck there was a goods vehicle going in that direction.I asked for a drop and the man inside readily agreed.During the 30 km journey from Ramnagaram to Kanakapura we passed through a jungle area.

It was already 8 in the night and it was densely dark outside.This is the time when all the horror films you had watched in the computer come to haunt you.It was him and me.I was afraid to even take out the mobile thinking he might snatch that from me and desert me there.After a while it rang-"humma humma" one of the great ARR's tracks.He took his phone out which to my surprise was a high end one.I was embarrassed to take my mid-range one out.We talked a lot during the entire journey.He said he was a silk carrier from Kanakapura to Ramnagaram.His name was Rahim Khan.

I always had a negative opinion about muslims till then.The reason was hours of breaking news television.I became even more skeptical.15 km to go still and no sight of any houses.

5km to go: i was apprehensive that he may demand a lot of money for this drop.After reaching Kanakapura he said that SBMJC was still 12 km outside town.I asked whether he could only drop but he resented.He asked 15 rupees for the trip and waited until i got a biker to drop me.
My entire perception changed then and there.He was so kind.He not only took a nominal amount but also was caring enough to wait till i got someone to drop me.I had opened one of the doors in my zeolistic mindset.

Now the biker was a Mantri Apartments maintainence man.He was a Kanakapura resident but was called in the night as there was some problem in the Domlur site.He had graciously agreed to drop me.He was Ramesh Gowda.Now i had a major grouse with Gowdas.To my ignorant mind most of them were either rotten politicians or local hooligans.I was wrong again.He talked along the route with his spit flying out,some of them falling on me.I had to repeatedly wipe it.

He dropped me and dint ask a single pie.What a relief?Two notions both gone bust.I was seeing the world outside my little cacoon.Finally after changing 4 vehicles i reached the gate but the guard did not allow me in.He asked for my identity card but it was with my friend who had already gone inside.I called him up and asked him to come to the gate.As i waited restlessly i saw buses with students from different engineering colleges from all corners of Karnataka pass through.Students peeking out of the windows looked at me with suspicious scorn.

Finally my friend arrived and to my utter dismay we had to again walk 2 km to reach the place where we were allocated rooms to stay in.The campus was huge and beautiful.As i lay in my bed fully tired i was called for dinner.The entry in the dinner coupon was punched and i was let in.There was a sea of people in that shamiana.Infinite possibilities existed.There was a host of beautiful girls mingling with ok-ok boys.

After dinner i contemplated over the astrologer's words.I had to be "careful".I dint know when i fell asleep.

PS:Nothing is what it looks like came true that day.

YELLAPPA SAMPANGI-THE MOST HONEST POLITICIAN

First of all, look at this face,such a innocent face,ah!!the folded hands-shows his determination for "JAN SEVA",so what if he has a few goondas backing him,so what if he transfers honest police officers out of his constituency,so what if his goons beat up teachers in schools for not having supported him during election,no one can question his devotion to money,oh!! sorry his constituency.He does it for "JANARA HITA DHRISHTI".

Everybody who has been watching news or reading the newspapers for the last two weeks will have surely come across this champion of Indian democracy named YELLAPPA SAMPANGI.
The sudden raid by the Lok Ayukta headed by an upper caste person while YELLAPPA SAMPANGI was helping a person named Farooque as any other of our honest politicians do was abominable.
This was yet another example of upper caste oppression or thats what his followers thought.The sudden raid not only raised flutters among the "honest" politicians but also resulted in Sampangi being admitted in 3 hospitals with multiple aches in head,stomach,back and several other places.He was so "hurt" by this act that he was not even able to attend the court due to this.Papaa!!


Was this needed?What did the Lok Ayukta gain from having raided a "honest"politician?Nothing.
What was his fault after all?He was caught accepting 5 lakhs as bribe.This accusation is completely baseless.What he was infact doing was taking the money to help fasten the solution to the problem of Farooque.He knew he would have to give money to the concerned police officers to drop the wrong case which was put up against Farooque.WAS IT WRONG?? I mean would any of us not do the same thing?When we are caught driving our vehicle without the helmet or license,when we do not pay the shopkeeper the VAT tax in order to save those few rupees which otherwise would have filled government coffers.

So what was wrong in Sampangi doing it.(BTW for people who would not given a look to the photo or the news item of the person above,he is BJP MLA from the reserved constituency of Kolar.)
Sampangi thought he was the champion of the dalits.It is politicians like him who have brought about prosperity to the supposed lower class people by championing causes like RESERVATION
in prestigious institutions like IITs and IIMs,alas there are not enough of them eligible for it.

He has taught the poor,uneducated people that they now need to stand up for their rights and the only way to do this is to build up their bodies,talk in a rude way,in short transform oneself to goondas and snatch what is rightfully theirs from the ruthless upwardly mobile people.
What a great "honest" politician!! Such people instead of being hailed , are lampooned in the media.

They ask "Did he not have a soul to accept the bribe,was he not under the people' oath?"
Who are these people to question the "honest" public servant?Ask the same questions to the youth of our nation,the so called modern,liberal youth who are more concerned about protecting their drinking,pubbing rights and championing alcohol as though it was the best thing to have happened to our INDIA SHINING,who dont bother to be responsible enough not to drive while drunk,who are only bothered about a minor rodent called MUTHALIK,why?? because he encroached upon their "SPACE".

So what if Kumaraswamy's son drinks and goes on a rampage in a hotel.So what??
Do any of us care a damn.Y.SAMPANGI is a honorary politician.He simple represents our society.For those people belonging to the middle class and upper classes who believe that they are safely cacooned from the wrath of the "SYSTEM".Wake up!!!For everyday you wont have "honest" politicians like Y.SAMPANGI saving the day for you.

PS: For people who read this blog,if you are honestly an Indian leave a comment here instead of passing it as just another blog.It will be treated as a signature.Who knows if we can make this a movement,we can root out "honest Bas#@#" like Y.SAMPANGI.Come on its time we take matters into our hands,else there wont be a country left to save!!

FEELINGS-IX

YEAR 2010

That day when i proposed to Priya i was so happy.It was like all the frustrations which i had in my life until then had vanished.For the first time i knew what it was to be in love with someone, with the other also reciprocating it.Even the way she looked at me seemed different from the next day.Life had changed.It also helped that the duration of our project was extended by another 6 months as our HR head was impressed by our work.At the corner of my mind though i was worried about Divya. How would she take the news of her husband having another woman in his life? I made sure it did not reflect in my exterior outlook because i did not want to lose this special relationship.

AUGUST 25th 2010:

My mother had told that Divya's parents had taken my current number.She had left for America as she had finally managed to obtain a visa.I became a bit apprehensive.I wanted to tell them that their daughter's life was not rosy as they had thought.It was no Phool only Kante.But i dint know what to do.Was i to tell her?She may take it in some other way considering the equation we had.The next month i did not hear from Divya.All the while i was feeling guilty. I had left my friend in the cold outside to fend for herself.Had she come to know of the truth?These feelings haunted me. Life with Priya was different.Visits to the park in the evening,watching the sunrise in the morning,candlelight dinners.It all seemed surreal to me,a neverending dream. Unfortunately Varun was feeling left out.

One day i recieved a phone call from an unknown number. The person on the other side of the line was sobbing.It was Divya!!!She was weeping furiously,hardly able to talk anything. I asked as to where she was.When i went to St.Agnes railway station she stood there helpless with her large suitcases.Her nose had turned red due to the cold,her eyes after what i could perceive as hours of crying.Her husband's place was 1 hour from mine.She hugged me and wept vehemently.I could feel her insecurity.She just asked me one question:
"You will not leave me now right?"I really felt very bad.

If I had told her before she came here,atleast she would have had her parents.In this alien land i had made her feel alone.I brought her to my apartment.I introduced Priya and Varun to Divya as my friends.After making Divya sleep in her room,Priya did not look amused.She asked as to why i had introduced like that.I then had to tell the history between us.I now know that between partners it is good to hide certain things for the sake of the relationship.I could sense a change in Priya's perception of Divya.

I wanted to bring Harish to book.We decided to complain to the Indian Embassy about this so that they could help Divya out. I was spending more time with Divya now. We used to regularly travel together to the Embassy in New York now which almost used to take a whole 2 days.We had decided that we would tell Divya's parents after a while as her parents might not take it well.One day all 4 of us went to shopping in a nearby mall to cheer up Divya. As she dint know that Priya and me were seeing each other she could not understand some of the sensitivites. Sample when we were picking a shirt for me Divya overruled a shirt that Priya had picked for her shirt.

That night Priya asked whether we could talk a while.Absence of communication always raises doubts.I had not been honest with either of them. Priya had felt that i still had feelings for Divya.My efforts to qualm her doubts proved to be a dead end.The embassy were generous to provide a counsel for Divya.The case was shifted later to a court in India.Divya could now go back there in March.

FEB 14th 2011

I was excited this day.The couple of months which had passed were bad for Priya's and my relationship.So i wanted to make this day a special one.As it was a Sunday we had a holiday. I had gone out that morning to make some bookings in a hotel for a romantic dinner.I had also bought a gift for her.When i returned in the afternoon the scene had changed. Priya was sitting on the couch visibly angry. Varun told that the girls had a fight after Priya saw a card which Divya had bought for me.Priya had told her about our relationship and ordered her to get out from the apartment.What had made Priya so insensitive to a fellow woman?What had bought about this transformation?

I now understand that it was her love for me,the feeling that i may leave her,this possessiveness is a trait in every human being.Boys have it more than girls sometimes.But that day i dint understand this.What was supposed to be a romantic day turned out to be a black day for me.I went out in search for Divya after mouthing expletives to Priya.I tried to call Divya's cell but she would not pick up.When she did she did not speak.After repeated calls she told that she was going to the airport which was a 4 hours drive.I now took a taxi and sped to the airport.It helped that the taxi driver was an Indian.

When i reached there i could not find her.Just then i saw her.She was sitting on the corner seats all alone.I went to her and we stood there looking at each other with a long pause.I told her to stay.She told that she had booked a ticket by the "speed ticket" offer and that she did not want to interfere in my life.She was hurt that i had not told her.She had also come to know that i had known of her husband's relationship which she felt showed my true feelings for her.My repeated badgering did not help.She said she had to go.As the announcement for her plane came she held my hand.So many things which we wanted to say before bidding goodbye drew blank.I had let her down again.That was the final straw in our relationship.

She left.By the time i returned to my apartment it was 2 in the morning.As i opened the door there was darkness everywhere.I checked to see if Varun was asleep as i wanted someone to talk to,to share my feelings.I knew only he could understand me now.As i opened the door i saw that Varun and Priya had slept.I was shocked out of my senses.I was so angry that i yelled leading to both of them getting up.

"How could you??!!" "How could you!!" i yelled repeatedly.Now i was cheated.On the same day i had lost two girls.And my friend Varun how could he do this!They tried to calm me down.They were attempting to give some explanations but i would have none of it.I was feeling so disgusted that I stormed out of the apartment.I cried so much that day.It was like the turbulent clouds had come visiting again.I had become emotionless.Sensing something very wrong in me my parents asked whether i wanted to return back.

In the next few days i had left my job and returned to India.I was feeling so lonely now.Not able to comprehend this cruel fate of mine i had gone into depression.After weeks of visits to the psychiatrist and then a job in another company i had finally come to terms with life.I had decided never to fall in love again.This mechanical life of mine continued until 4 years later my parents had found a wife for me in Suchitra.

JULY 23rd 2015
I remembered that i had to ask them as to why they had cheated me.Varun told that whenever Priya would feel insecure about Divya and me she had found an emotional support in him.As one thing led to the other that fateful day they had a lot of wine and whisky and in a moment of weakness they had done it.I could still not accept it.

But as i was returning to my home i felt an easy calmness.I did not have any baggage of the past now.For whatever reason they had done it,it was not intended to.

I had learnt something from all my brief "love"ly experiences.
If Sindhu had taught me to be more careful before making any move,Divya had taught me to be more courageous and honest,not to hide anything from someone you love,to stand up for one's love.Priya had taught me what love was actually,how to put it in perspective and how lack or miscommunication creates this unbridgeable gap between partners.

I decided to be completely honest about my past to my fiance.I went in the evening and told her everything and asked whether she still wanted to marry me.She looked in my eye and said "Yes".
Sometimes in life God deprives us of certain desires in order to make us truly enjoy something which we acquire later in life.I had to go through all the experiences to have a happily married life.I was "MEANT TO LOVE".
Now i understand.

AUGUST 10th 2015
My wife asked me what gift i would give her on our honeymoon.I said that i would write a blog on all my experiences until i met my true soulmate.So here it is i have opened my heart to you.It may not be Great BUT IT IS MINE!! I Jatin Bhagwat am happy.Hope you come up with your experiences too.And when you do dont forget to give me a link to it.
Cheers!!

FEELINGS-VIII

YEAR 2010

That night we both went into a popular hangout of New York,Nirvana.As we sat down in our place to have dinner,two drunken white men came to our table and started abusing us.Apparently they had lost their job in the company where they worked.They thought we Indians were responsible for this as jobs were being outsourced to Indian engineers.First we took it in good humor as we had heard of such experiences from other expats living there.Then they took it a notch higher and this statement "Son of a snake charmer and a prostitute" really angered me.We dint know that such racist mindset and ignorant people still lived in the 21st century.

We saw that other white men there were not coming to our rescue,so we thought of just leaving that place and go.As we were leaving one of the men brazenly pulled Priya's arm and tried to manhandle her.I tried to talk them into leaving her.They got annoyed and both guys started punching me hurling abuses all the while.I was no Rajnikanth,but still tried to fight them but after 30 seconds had blackened out.When i regained consciousness Priya was looking over me.
As my hair was falling over the wound near the eye,she carefully caressed it away.I felt i was in 9th heaven.

Apparently the manager in Nirvana had called 911 and the public had come to her rescue.(Which ever country may it be,people come to rescue of women but men are meant to be battered).I had got some minor concussions with a minor cut on the face.I was put up in a small clinic.Apparently in America it was like i had returned from war.The grave expressions with which the doctor was talking exemplified this.I now understood how americans give importance to each life,whereas in India people react after a major blast only if the death toll is more than 50,else they ask "oh only 10,not big blast then".

The policeman who had come there was more concerned about my background than the profile of the thugs.He was virtually justifying this act.The contrast between the first world and third world was now blurring in my eyes.The glamorous lights of "AMERICA!!" were not that bright any more.The "BIG AMERICAN DREAM" was busted.The lax attitude of the police officer was because i was a brown man.The seniors with whom we had come,came visiting.I was advised rest that day.The next day one of our senior asked us to join them to one of his friend's place.

On the way he was telling how brilliant his friend Harish Kamkelkar was.He said that they were colleagues before and now Harish had shifted to New York to manage the company's division there.We reached Harish's place in downtown Manhattan with the taxi driver looking at me suspiciously throughout the route as though i was going to bring the next highrise down.

The door opened and i was left stunned.It was Divya's husband.I had known his name was Harish but had not known his full name and all.I looked around to see if Divya was there.Harish had not recognized me.How was he to remember one face among a 1000 random faces who came to his wedding?He warmly hugged my senior Girish which highlighted how thick they were.He later called his wife Cathreen!! an american. I was shocked.Had he left Divya?.It had not been even 5 months since they had wed.Girish interrupted me to say that Harish would be rejoining the San Jose division.

Harish asked me something but i was not listening.Priya slightly nudged me that Harish was asking something.On our ride back home Girish said that Harish had married against his parents' wishes.I was puzzled.To remove my doubts i called up to my uncle home in Kumta from an ISD line.The conversation was petering along and i quietly brought up the issue of Divya.Uncle said that she had not yet got visa even after 2 attempts and she was again going to Chennai after a couple of days for this.She would be soon joining Harish!.He asked whether to give the phone to Divya which i politely declined,as i dint have the heart to talk to her.

I had only heard of how some NRI boys used to cheat girls from India specially the rural ones,but this had happened to my dearest friend,no love!.Divya was a sensitive girl whom i knew had built castles about her life and all.She was wronged by not getting to marry her real love,me!!,but i had chickened out and left her in the cold.Now this,this would really shatter her(for that matter any girl).As i was lost in my thoughts Priya asked me what was on my mind.

Our relationship had grown from hate to friendship.We both were now able to understand each other's thoughts even without speaking.It had matured but my mind was still lost on Divya.We returned to San Jose.Varun had joined us there.

16th July 2010:
Our company had organised a party as part of the 50th anniversary of the founding of our company.After dinner there was a ball.Couples were picked on lot for the dance.Priya and me had got different people as partners,but she surprisingly came up to my partner and asked whether they could switch partners.The hot(I mean really hot,i dint want to change ;)) white girl agreed.The dance was a different experience for me.I had changed a lot,from the boy who used to go weak in the guts department when around girls had now learned to live life.Priya had taught that it was okay to have a bit of fun in life.Her exuberance had rubbed off on me.Having never held a girl before,it was embarrassing initially but after a while it seemed right.

After the ball, drinks was served.Rubens literally put the drink in my mouth as he himself was in high spirits.I now drank after coming to America.It was like i had found unlimited freedom.A new alter ego had developed within me.Sitting outside in the lawn looking at the black spotted moon,Priya and me talked a dime to a dozen.I told her everything,even my two brushes with love and also what i had learned about Divya.

This brought to the fore the feminist within Priya.She started abusing Harish and how he should be sent to jail for ruining a girl's life.As she was speaking my respect for her grew.Over the past 5 months i had come to like her many characteristics.Her face shining with the moon in the background made me forget all other things in my mind.As my feelings of love churned out of control in my stomach "I LOVE YOU",i blurted out.Its amazing how certain things which you plan to tell in a certain way come out in the most unplanned of moments.

She looked at me as though a candle was lit in her heart too.But she just walked away slowly from there.I was saddened.Had i lost her?As i was contemplating these various doubts she just turned back and ran towards me.We kissed!!(The second planned thing which just happened).It was so pure and seemed so right.She said that she had planned this run after a famous Spanish movie!!(Whoever said movies do not influence people!!)
I was so happy that day that i dint know what hit me after it...

JULY 23rd 2015:
As i opened the album..."Jatin!!" came a scream.As i looked up it was.... PRIYA.They were now married.I dint know how to react.The girl whom i had proposed to first was now married to my best friend.Memories of how i had come to hate Varun flashed.But now the hate was no longer there.I had come to terms with reality.I dint want to live with the bad memories forever.I decided i had to get on with my life.As i was leaving from there,i remembered something and.....

FEELINGS VII

YEAR 2010:

Initially we felt very embarrassed to share the same apartment.It was new to both of us though in some way she was more accepting of it than me.Since the mansion was spacious with 2 bedrooms and bathrooms we dint get in the way of each other.Our mutual hatred had not lessened as we dint have to interact much.

On the night of 16th March she received a Skype call from her home in Bangalore.She had gone out to buy some groceries(yes we used to cook only for ourselves).As i could not bear to hear the repeated ping sounds from her laptop i decided to mute the volume.On the screen was a message from her father that her grandmother had died.I dint know how to react.I just went back to my room.

Just then the door unlocked and she went straight to her laptop.I was thinking in my mind that she would breakdown and i would have to step in to console her and all,which i did not want to get into.As i was seeing her from the corner of my room,she calmly took her just bought groceries,kept some vegetables in the fridge and went about her cooking after having read the message in her computer.(There was a contrast in our cooking timings as well.She was the more organized as she used to cook the dishes for night in the morning before leaving to office but i used to come back and cook.)I thought to myself "how heartless this girl is?,her grandmother has died and she doesnt even shed a tear!!".

That night as i lay on my bed i heard some noises from the drawing room.As i switched on the lamp i saw her weeping copiously with her legs crouched on the floor.I could not help but console her as i had a weakness for tears specially if it was girls.I realised that day she was like coconut,tough exterior with soft inside.I was happy that i had acted magnanimous and made her realise that i was a good guy.But the next day was the same like any other.Limited talk.

One day it was tough going for me in office.I had to give a demo of the code i had written but i was not getting it right.I requested the firangis and some other Indians there as well,but all were either busy or appearing so.I dint ask Priya although she was just in the next cubicle as I thought it would hurt my ego.By evening i had alleviated the big problem to a small one but without it,the whole program was not running.

Just then our associate head came for our demos.Out of the blue Priya came to my help.I dint know when she had cracked what the problem was,but she had been watching me.I did the necessary corrections and by the time Alec came the demo was up and running.I thanked her that night in the apartment.Atleast i wanted to be different than her when someone helps.

On another day i had work till late night.As the thought of having to go to the apartment,cook and then eat,i knew that i had to go hungry to bed as all the hotels nearby were non-vegetarian food and no Indian hotels were in the vicinity.I dint want to eat some place else and spoil my stomach for the rest of the week as it had happened in the first week of our joining.As i reached my apartment late night i went through the fridge to see if there was some leftovers.I suddenly noticed some plates with food kept on the table with a note.

"Learn to wake up more early and cook food in the morning itself,this is only for
today".
Although it was caustically written,i felt good that she atleast cared.

July 4th 2010:

It was American Independence day and a holiday.As it was followed up by the weekend it was like an extended holiday.Some Indians whom we had befriended in the company offered us to come along with them to New York to spend the weekend.We happily agreed.Priya had seen New York before when she had come along with her parents for one of her relatives wedding.We lodged ourselves in a hotel,one room for each.

In the evening Priya asked whether i would come along with her to see the nightlife of New York.I agreed and we both first went to Madison Square Garden.The place left me stunned.There were many competitions going on near the nearby Planet Hollywood mall.There was a competition where if we won we could select from any one of Louis Bagge T-shirt,Lee jeans,Sketches Brown shoes or a Verlitto heels.Priya tried first but failed at it.I saw that she badly wanted the heels.I decided to try my hand and by pure piece of luck i was able to win it.The host asked as to what i wanted?

I dint know what i was thinking when i blurted out Verlitto ...heel...heels."Oh the nice man wants the heels for his girlfriend!" announced the host in such an emphatic tone as though he had won it and called us both to the stage and made me give the heels to her taking a snap meanwhile.After we came out i was still in contemplative mind as to what i had just done.I dint want to even come close to fall in love again as i had failed when i tried.

She just asked me for a minute and went inside a store.Half an hour later(I was livid at her timings -one minute is not half an hour,even in India!!,but women;) cant help) she came out with a Shirt and handed it to me and said.

"Wear this,atleast you will not look boring!".As we walked back to the hotel i was mulling over the various reasons for which she bought a Shirt for me as soon as i had won her the heels.
1)She did not want to keep any 'ehsaan'.
2)As we had become friends she might have thought it has a return gesture for my benevolence.
3)She seriously thought i looked crappy which made me more worried.
4)She liked me? now that option was a doubt.

In the night i checked into one of the internet cafes to see my emails.A new mail had arrived and it also said that (one male;)) Varun would be joining us San Jose to work in our vertical.

JULY 23rd 2015

I turned back and it was Varun!.Floods of memories of our friendship flashed through my mind and we tightly embraced each other(like in Dil Chahta Hai) and kiddishly wept as well.I had missed my friend all these 4 years and did not want to further.We talked a lot.He was married also but he told that he dint have the heart to call me as he thought i would spurn him away.His wife had gone out.As he was making tea in his kitchen for us i saw that his marriage album was lying about on the side table.As i opened it.....

FEELINGS VI

As i was writing the addresses to whom the invites had to be sent, the first name that came to mind was of Varun Ravindranath. It had been 4 years since we had talked.He was my best bud in company but then an event occurred which changed all 3 of our lives-Priya's,his and mine.

1st January 2010:
It had been 5 months since i had joined the company.I had made a few friends among whom Varun had become really close.He was a complex character.His motto in life was to work hard and party even harder.Having various interests such as lawn tennis,puzzle solving and rest,he was a dynamic character.Being a pub freak he scored over many girls.All the bouncers and bartenders knew him by his name.The bugger used to go and work in the night on his computer so that he was ready for tomorrow's tasks in an half drunken state(God knows how he did that).

There was 7 members in our team and majority among them were party animals.The conservative being Stuthi and me.Varun had compelled me to join them while going to Parkinson's or Blue Sprinkle but i used to get away with one reason always-that i had to go back to my home to waiting parents and he to a sloppily kept room and (if he got lucky a beautiful damsel from a party).So one day he did finally get me to go to Blue Sprinkle.As my parents had gone on a tour to Munnar,i relented.Priya and other girl's gang had also joined us which i was a little uncomfortable with.

I used to call Priya as Seth as i was cynical about her showing off her 'Bade Baap ki Beti' attitude.
Since i had never visited a pub before in my life,i had all kinds of negative preconceptions about the concept called pub and the people visiting it(specially the girls).The images of doped and wasted boys and girls conjured up a evil notion about all things 'pub'.In front of the pub door-the bouncer said it was a couple's only night.Varun tried hard to influence the bouncer but that night even the bouncer was not party to any favours being doled out.

But as Varun was so insistent on me going into a pub atleast once,he requested Rammy(Rahul because he had rammed his car into other cars umpteen times while parking)to make way for me as there were only 3 girls and 4 boys.Rammy being Rammy agreed(such an angel).Priya and me entered as a pair.I could feel Varun laughing his lungs out seeing my palpable nervousness and uncomfortableness.

Although thick,I had never told Varun about my previous brushes with love.For him i was just an average Joe from an orthodox family with strong traditional ethos.His parents were divorced and i could understand his sarcasm about everything 'commitment'.

Inside the pub i was surprised to see Priya not boozing.Varun told that she never used to booze but used to only accompany her friends as her mother was very strict about it.That friday night news about a pub attack in mangalore by some hoodlums on young girls was all over the news.I could feel a palpable sense of agreement on most male chauvinists who want girls or women to be limited in their freedom.I sadly was one of them at that time.

The next day there was a small event in our company as an extension of the new year celebrations.Surprisingly our manager had organized a debate that day.The topic:Are pubs anti-indian.Chits were picked.Priya and me were the ones picked.We were given 2 minutes to prepare.I picked 'for' the topic.

Me:Pubs are anti-indian.It was a never part of our culture.It is that part of corrupt western culture which we have inherited.Boys and girls are in an inebriated state and anything can happen to susceptible girls there.

Priya:i can only laugh at the narrow viewpoint of my friend here.Shows how much of a male chauvinist he is.(Moderator interrupts:no personal abuse please!).Sorry!but in my opinion if boys are the erring party then stop boys from going to pubs,why always target girls and oppress them.

Me:See let them ban pubs itself.Lot of unethical things go on there.My big problem is underage kids enter such places and spend money which is their father's hard earned money.

This led to a series of caustic remarks against each other and lot of bad blood.As i was a non-smoker i asked one of my colleagues from smoking as there was a law against it now even in office spaces.Priya pitched in to defend that guy asking as to why i had a problem with everything.I reprimanded her for not following rules ever,"antisocial bitch".She screamed a lot and let loose a host of expletives.

Now with this obvious hatred for each other,we were flustered when we were picked together for an onsite project to San Jose,California for a period of 6 months.

19th March 2010:McClellan-Palomar airport,California:
The Air-India plane landed at the airport and Rubens Peters our associate head had come to pick us.He was surprised that the India office had sent people with 10 months experience.We told that as we were working on the same vertical we were sent.He then rode us to the office guest house which he warned was only for a period of one week after which we had to look for our own rooms.As we did not have any of our relatives close by to the San Jose city we had to look for our rooms.Having just joined the company we wanted to save as many as dollars as possible.I was surprised that Priya was very independent minded as she did not want to ask her Dad for anything.

Though belonging to a upper middle class government officer family she used to save up any money given by her relatives so that she could buy her own things.This was the first time our mentalities matched atleast a little.After asking the cab driver for help we realised that rents in that area are very high and would not come within our budgets.The cab driver suggested that we should share a room. I told him we are indians and not americans.But at the end of a week after a lot of searching and contemplation we came to a conclusion that we had to share a room.We got a two-bedroom apartment in Elvin Road with the help of Ruben.

July 23rd 2015:TODAY
I decided that i have to bury the hatchet and went to Varun's house since i had got to know where he stayed from one of our common friends.I rang the bell but no one answered for about 10 minutes.After having waited long i decided to leave and send the invite by post.As i was about to get into my car,"Jatin!!!".I turned back and....

FEELINGS V

It was Bhatta. He had a puzzled look on his face. Divya emerged out from inside. Rain had by then reduced to a drizzle. She dint look at me nor Bhatta and hurried away from there. This probably increased the doubt in Bhatta's mind. He looked around if there was someone else watching. He gave a sigh of relief. With anger in his eye he questioned as to why we had took shelter in this room rather than take cover under trees. "we would have got drenched man,besides there was the danger of coconuts falling on us, look at the breeze".

"I trust you as a friend Jatin,but seeing how Divya went.....".

"Nothing happened,i would not take advantage of any girl,let alone her"

"You are a city boy,i have seen how u people live there,you are very modern people man,but here in village still we have certain values left man,besides you know how it is in villages,each person likes spicy news about others,wants to defame others and they take pride in doing that"

"If they had seen you both coming out,you know how they would be stories going on about u people,our's and your family reputation would have been ruined forever man".

I was sorry for causing anxiety in my two dearest friends.The way Divya had gone from there i was sure i had lost all the trust.The next day i got a chance to redeem myself.Her mom had asked me to go along with her to buy some groceries for a function in their house as Bhatta had to go to temple to conduct the poojas for the day.The tradition there was that the temple ceremonies had to be conducted in round robin fashion by the delegated few families.

In the bus we dint talk only.There was a certain awkwardness.Our hands touched accidently on the seat handles,and there was an immediate withdrawal from her.I could see how sensitive she had become.I wanted to talk about what had happened but dint know how to start. Surprisingly she broke the ice and talked about the function rather than what mattered.There was a deliberate avoidance of that topic whenever i tried to bring it up.While returning back i forced her to get down one stop behind so that we could get a chance to walk the talk.
"Look we need to talk about it,we cant avoid it...I am sorry,the moment was crazy ok and we both got carried away,it had never happened to me before.I know now the equation between us has got complicated"

"equation?"she quipped.
"sorry influence of watching lot of english tv shows". She used to talk very less and most of the conversation was initiated by me.I wanted to tell my hearts "feelings" to her.So i requested her to come and meet me at the backside of the temple day after the function.That was my big fault.I should have told her that i liked her then."Seized the moment" as one of the protagonist says in my favourite FRIENDS show.

FUNCTION:many guests had come to her house.I gave the Bhatta household all the help i could.I returned to my grandma house early.In the night Bhatta's father came visiting.He seemed very happy.He told my grandmother that a very good relation had come for Divya."The boy has settled abroad.His parents were in Bangalore "and various other details which i was not interested in.Grandma was asking other details and reveling in the happiness of her guest unaware of the storm brewing in her grandson's heart.I felt clueless.Was i to commit?what consequences will it have?how will i handle the colourful stories churned out by the gossip hungry villagers?my parents?her parents?oh i would become mad!!

I could not sleep that night The next day was spent contemplating my next move.Bhatta came in the afternoon and asked if we could talk a little away from other's glare.He hugged me and said that he was happy that i had so sensitively handled the situation that evening.He was so happy that he was getting a stud as his brother-in-law.Not able to handle the situation i acted cowardly.I immediately decided to go back to Bangalore and climbed the bus in the night.I din't have the courage to meet Divya in the night.

I fought this decision of mine with my conscience.How could i have stranded her?Sindu had cheated me,i had cheated Divya.Was it justification for me being wronged?.Although she had not talked much,i had seen the love for me in her eyes.Her actions indicated that.This doubt was confirmed when i went to her marriage 3 months later.

"I was waiting at Tulsi katte till 10p.m"she said when i was giving the gift to her.I saw in her eyes the hope that still something could happen.What she dint know was how escapist my mind was.

"Congratulations for your wedding and have a good life",i asserted as though i was some elderly person.These were the last words to her.Bhatta handed me a diary of hers on my way out.
"Keep it with you",he quipped with a sad look in his face.

When i went home and opened the diary,what was written in it choked me to tears.It gave an insight to her innermost feelings.She used to talk less but more than made it up in her diary.It had the details on her life till then.I saw how special i had become in her life.She was waiting for me to move forward.I just shut the diary with disgust and with it all the feelings i had for her.She was married and I had to respect that.This was no hindi movie for a happy ending all the time even in bizarre circumstances.

I thought then that i could never fall in love.First i did not want to,and now destiny did not want me to.Maybe i was born to become a good mama to all of my friend's children-"Uncle!!".I hated love songs on TV.Hated to see a couple so much in love and getting a chance to cherish it together.You can say i deliberately acted Devdas but the difference was that workahol had replaced alcohol.

This season of depression continued until one day i met Priya Seth!
in office.
She was a motormouth.Our thinking and personalities were like chalk and cheese.But as they say opposites attract.

We met on 31st december 2009,New Year's party in office:
She was recently shifted to our vertical to work on an image processing DiCom project.She was in the same team as me.Our team members were divided on pseudo modern and modern lifestyles.
She was the embodiment of everything i had hated in girls,or so i thought.I was bit of a chauvinist back then.

July 23rd 2015:TODAY
As i am writing this story, the invitation card of my wedding is being readied-"Jatin weds ...." is written in gold letters.Some memories flash through my mind.One of them caught my attention.I tried to remember it properly and....

FEELINGS-IV

It was my grandma.She requested us to go the temple and deliver some bags to my uncle who was a priest there.So Bhatta and me made our way up the 1001 algae laden steps to the temple on the hill top.I had almost forgotten the beauty that pervaded this place.All along the hills were neem and gulmohar trees intermittently covered with coconut trees.The dew on the leaves was still present even though it was approaching dusk.The green colour lay very symbolically before us and occupied the entire space as far as our radius of sight sent.When we reached the temple all the elements of nature were laid down as a feast for our eyes.On the left lay the arabian sea,on the right lay the mountains.

It was a huge difference for a guy from the 'oh-so' polluted city.As we were entering the main temple Divya was making her way out.Bhatta told that she used to come daily at this time.In that surrounding she looked like a Goddess.The white garland on her long locks,the carefully worn dress,the kumkum on her forehead,all created quite a stir in my mind.The bad memories of my previous experience were slowly being erased.She just smiled and went away.I wanted to talk with her,but her apparent indifference and Bhatta proved quite a hindrance.As she moved down the sound made by her sandals seemed like music."Was i losing myself in the maze called love again?".I dint know.

The next day while talking to my granny i was proudly telling her how i had gotten myself involved in social work.I also told her how i had toiled hard during my holidays to prevent a local corrupt corporator from winning back during the BBMP elections by distributing pamphlets and all.Grandma said that Divya also was like me.She was leading a campaign to fight the corrupt DC as he was not sanctioning the amount from the NREGS(for the unknowledged it is-National Rural Employement Guarantee Scheme) to the local youth which they were rightfully entitled to.

To be frank,i did not think much of the intellectual capital of village girls, only thinking of them as obliging belles.I dint know frail and pretty looking Divya was so strongly opinionated.Grandma told that Divya was going to "INTERETTU"(in her own village tone,so funny but yet so different )to collect knowledge on this and send some petitions to some "DODDA SAYABRU"(big person).I felt relieved. All the lurking doubts disappeared from my minds.I felt fascinated by the multiple layers of personality in this girl.

So the next day in the evening i left Grandma home early(so that i could lose pesty Bhatta) to catch up with Divya in the temple.When i reached there she had not yet come.She did finally come.I acted as though i was unaware of her presence.Praying in total bhakti and putting kumkum on my forehead(such a religious boy nah!!;)).Our eyes met,her 20 watt smile blinded my eye for a moment,atleast it seemed so(all srk movies effect).We talked that day.So much that it seemed we had never really lost touch at all.

This continued for a couple of days.One day grandma sent me on a chore to the town.I longed to see Divya that day but had to wait till evening.In the evening Bhatta,Divya and me decided to go to the beach.We made our way to the thatched room we had built as kids near to the beach.I was overjoyed to see it still standing.Of the three i felt very close to this one.Bhatta told that i should thank Divya for this,as she had taken care of it all these years.She used to tell him that Jatin is very affectionate about this.I felt good inside."She did all this for me!!WOW!!".

We ventured out to the waters.Played a lot.As it was prime raining season that time there was a slight drizzle.The weather was very romantic but BHATTAAA. Fortunately Bhatta was called by the local coconut tree climber for some work.We two were left alone but now strangely both felt a tinge of shyness,a little odd,cant really describe what.

It started raining heavily(you have to really experience the coastal rain)and we could somehow run fast and find shelter in the thatched room.Both of us sat at a distance.The rain was unrelenting and slowly our conversation veered towards what Bhatta had told about her maintaining this room.The talk started having a romantic and a flirtatious tone.The distance reduced between us.At this age our minds do waver.Raindrops trickled down our faces.There was definite sexual tension as the soft talk proceeded.Now our faces were near and our lips more.In a moment of weakness we were about to kiss when i heard Bhatta call my name from outside.

There was a long pause,we had frozen.Not able to comprehend what had just happened ,we sat in a stoned silence.I could not react,what to tell,what to say.She sat there almost on the verge of crying.Although nothing had happened i was able to understand the importance girls give to such things."JATINN!!!" .I was blasted into my senses. I came out and.....

FEELINGS-III

It was her.She had seen me at the door and subsequently my attempt to disappear.She came to the door and asked as to why i was leaving.I started mumbling some reason but i guess she knew.She might have understood me through our various conversations but this was to be the first face to face.I dint know it was also going to be the last.She introduced me to her fiance.He was working in a top MNC and her parents had arranged their 'milana'.

The meeting was very awkward for me especially because none of us knew why I was actually there.Sindhu dint know i was about to reveal my feelings,He dint know who i was and I was never sure anyway.The whole conversation petered around how they were introduced to each other and the romantic ballads he had written for her.

I wanted to get up and go as i was kicking myself for having made a fool myself.I dint know why she had agreed to meet up if she was busy with someone else.Why had she written that letter?So many questions but no one to answer.

After our 'rendezvous' with each other we all left to our rooms/homes.I watched them take off on their costly bike.I felt letdown by her.It only confirmed my notion that all girls were cosmetic.
She later pinged me on gtalk but i was in no mood to respond.

I felt cheated.I had always romanticised the movie scenes where the hero walks away dejected with his heart broken but never knew it hurts. I dint go online for some days after this.When i went online eventually i received some chat which was sent when i was offline.It was from her and wanted to talk.I sent back a mail saying "No,thank you!".I dint know why i was so rattled then that i sent a crude reply back.I came to regret this decision later in my life.Not then.Then i was just angry.Immature to handle it.My experience with a 'girl' had made me suspicious about their breed ,enough to make me cynical about everything love.

The entire semester passed and it was time to leave college.Hugs and tears on the last day as well as many goodbyes.I would not be able to meet some of my best friends regularly everyday.I would miss everything-the classroom,the daily chai at the bakery,the yampa gossips,pranks played on teachers.I had watched a movie on life in engineering,at the end of which the protagonist says it is going to be the beginning of days of responsibility.

I was nervous on how i would be able to handle it.The gap between the last day and my joining date in the company i was placed was a month and a half.During this time i felt very alone.Friends were busy in their own world and no one to share my innermost feelings.I decided that i would go to my native Kumta a remote village in the coastal area of Karnataka.The last time i had gone there was when i was in 6th standard.So wanted to see the change that had happened there and also to digress from my present mood.

23rd June:
After getting down from the bus in the morning i took an auto to my grandma' place.All through the route i was soaking in the fresh,unpolluted air,the amount of generosity Mother Nature had bestowed upon this village had entralled me before and still to this day continued.Nothing much had changed since the last time i was here.There were some notable ones though:a cable dish on most of the homes and boundary walls earlier made of thorns and cactus were now being replaced by concretized walls.

This was the change that i could perceive from outside.After i got to my grandma house I was amazed to see the change that had taken place there.Floors were now tiled,walls cemented and many other changes.After the customary grandma-grandson talk,I decided to walk around the vast acres of the estate.Green leaves,clear water,pure air-all the ingredients to forget our troubles and tribulations was there.

In the evening a girl came visiting to the house.My grandma asked whether i could identify her.I could not recollect who she was.Grandma told that she was Divya.This brought a rush of memories back to me.We used to play when we were little children.I used to call her 'soda batli' because she used to wear spectacles then.

Now she had changed so much that i could not recognize her.After a very shy sharing of complimentaries she proceeded to give a tin of butter she had brought.And immediately left.We had a lot to talk,lot of catching up to do,so the next day i went to her house.

Our families were very close friends.She had a brother whom we all used to lovingly call Bhatta. We both had troubled grandma a lot and played many other pranks whenever i used to go to my village.Divya was not there.After having to forcefully eat a lot of sweets given by doting aunty Bhatta offered to take me around.While going out Divya was just coming back to the house.I wanted to stay back but knowing Bhatta i dared not to refuse.

After sharing a brief glance with each other,I was taken to the village market.I saw an internet cafe on the way. I decided to check my mails as the joining date was nearing.Bhatta shouted in excitement whenever an ad or popup featuring an attractive girl wearing minimal clothing came up on the screen.I had to hush him down.He seemed very dazzled with the speed with which i wrote mails,sent as well as read some.He later said that i had become very "modern".He said that Divya also used to visit that cafe a lot,but he himself had never gone there.I again became suspicious about her.I thought "yet another one of my crushes has someone else in her life".I found it hard to deal with my trust bankrupt heart.

Later in the evening we made our way to the beach near grandma house.As we were about to go I heard my name called from behind.I turned back and.........