Name:Jatin Desai Age:21 Zodiac Sign:Gemini
DAY 1
FEB 15th:Day of the lunar eclipse:the day when most astrologers come out with their predictions of the future for all the "rashis".I was eagerly waiting for my future,rather the probability of my future.For 10 minutes my future lay in some stranger's hands who was racketing out everyone's future as though he had a special communication with GOD above.He had become GOD's avatar on land for us mortals.
After 3 signs came mine.I wanted to know how my future was going to be for that week.I was having an intercollege fest that week and was participating in two events.Since i was a blind believer in astrology i was keen for that week's outlook.After the customary touching of ears and praying for a moment the Dharma specialist told this
"People belonging to this rashi have to be careful this week.Specially people in love or falling in love,there is a chance of being fooled or frauded.Trouble may come from any known or unknown direction.Be extremely careful.It can be life changing.Nothing is what it looks like.Be careful"
he ringed repeatedly.
"Huh!!" I mean what the f*#@.So much about a topic i was not thinking about it then and so less about what i was thinking about.
Anyways i had to leave to the fest that evening for reporting at that place.
I was to go alone from Bangalore while the rest of the college gang were coming by bus from Mysore.I left at 5 in the evening by bus as we had to report by 8.30 in the night at SBMJC the host college.I dint know where exactly the college was located.I asked for directions from one of the fellas who had already reached there.What he told was a long route but that was the only route from Mysore side.But from Bangalore it was 40 km far.Since i dint know the exact location i followed the route told.I landed up in Ramnagaram thinking it was there.
After questioning some locals about the college i drew a blank.Then took an auto to Ramnagaram circle.I again called and my friend said it was in Kanakapura.There was a remote road to it.It was dark and there was no trace of people.To my luck there was a goods vehicle going in that direction.I asked for a drop and the man inside readily agreed.During the 30 km journey from Ramnagaram to Kanakapura we passed through a jungle area.
It was already 8 in the night and it was densely dark outside.This is the time when all the horror films you had watched in the computer come to haunt you.It was him and me.I was afraid to even take out the mobile thinking he might snatch that from me and desert me there.After a while it rang-"humma humma" one of the great ARR's tracks.He took his phone out which to my surprise was a high end one.I was embarrassed to take my mid-range one out.We talked a lot during the entire journey.He said he was a silk carrier from Kanakapura to Ramnagaram.His name was Rahim Khan.
I always had a negative opinion about muslims till then.The reason was hours of breaking news television.I became even more skeptical.15 km to go still and no sight of any houses.
5km to go: i was apprehensive that he may demand a lot of money for this drop.After reaching Kanakapura he said that SBMJC was still 12 km outside town.I asked whether he could only drop but he resented.He asked 15 rupees for the trip and waited until i got a biker to drop me.
My entire perception changed then and there.He was so kind.He not only took a nominal amount but also was caring enough to wait till i got someone to drop me.I had opened one of the doors in my zeolistic mindset.
Now the biker was a Mantri Apartments maintainence man.He was a Kanakapura resident but was called in the night as there was some problem in the Domlur site.He had graciously agreed to drop me.He was Ramesh Gowda.Now i had a major grouse with Gowdas.To my ignorant mind most of them were either rotten politicians or local hooligans.I was wrong again.He talked along the route with his spit flying out,some of them falling on me.I had to repeatedly wipe it.
He dropped me and dint ask a single pie.What a relief?Two notions both gone bust.I was seeing the world outside my little cacoon.Finally after changing 4 vehicles i reached the gate but the guard did not allow me in.He asked for my identity card but it was with my friend who had already gone inside.I called him up and asked him to come to the gate.As i waited restlessly i saw buses with students from different engineering colleges from all corners of Karnataka pass through.Students peeking out of the windows looked at me with suspicious scorn.
Finally my friend arrived and to my utter dismay we had to again walk 2 km to reach the place where we were allocated rooms to stay in.The campus was huge and beautiful.As i lay in my bed fully tired i was called for dinner.The entry in the dinner coupon was punched and i was let in.There was a sea of people in that shamiana.Infinite possibilities existed.There was a host of beautiful girls mingling with ok-ok boys.
After dinner i contemplated over the astrologer's words.I had to be "careful".I dint know when i fell asleep.
PS:Nothing is what it looks like came true that day.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
YELLAPPA SAMPANGI-THE MOST HONEST POLITICIAN
First of all, look at this face,such a innocent face,ah!!the folded hands-shows his determination for "JAN SEVA",so what if he has a few goondas backing him,so what if he transfers honest police officers out of his constituency,so what if his goons beat up teachers in schools for not having supported him during election,no one can question his devotion to money,oh!! sorry his constituency.He does it for "JANARA HITA DHRISHTI".Everybody who has been watching news or reading the newspapers for the last two weeks will have surely come across this champion of Indian democracy named YELLAPPA SAMPANGI.
The sudden raid by the Lok Ayukta headed by an upper caste person while YELLAPPA SAMPANGI was helping a person named Farooque as any other of our honest politicians do was abominable.
This was yet another example of upper caste oppression or thats what his followers thought.The sudden raid not only raised flutters among the "honest" politicians but also resulted in Sampangi being admitted in 3 hospitals with multiple aches in head,stomach,back and several other places.He was so "hurt" by this act that he was not even able to attend the court due to this.Papaa!!
Was this needed?What did the Lok Ayukta gain from having raided a "honest"politician?Nothing.
What was his fault after all?He was caught accepting 5 lakhs as bribe.This accusation is completely baseless.What he was infact doing was taking the money to help fasten the solution to the problem of Farooque.He knew he would have to give money to the concerned police officers to drop the wrong case which was put up against Farooque.WAS IT WRONG?? I mean would any of us not do the same thing?When we are caught driving our vehicle without the helmet or license,when we do not pay the shopkeeper the VAT tax in order to save those few rupees which otherwise would have filled government coffers.
So what was wrong in Sampangi doing it.(BTW for people who would not given a look to the photo or the news item of the person above,he is BJP MLA from the reserved constituency of Kolar.)
Sampangi thought he was the champion of the dalits.It is politicians like him who have brought about prosperity to the supposed lower class people by championing causes like RESERVATION
in prestigious institutions like IITs and IIMs,alas there are not enough of them eligible for it.
He has taught the poor,uneducated people that they now need to stand up for their rights and the only way to do this is to build up their bodies,talk in a rude way,in short transform oneself to goondas and snatch what is rightfully theirs from the ruthless upwardly mobile people.
What a great "honest" politician!! Such people instead of being hailed , are lampooned in the media.
They ask "Did he not have a soul to accept the bribe,was he not under the people' oath?"
Who are these people to question the "honest" public servant?Ask the same questions to the youth of our nation,the so called modern,liberal youth who are more concerned about protecting their drinking,pubbing rights and championing alcohol as though it was the best thing to have happened to our INDIA SHINING,who dont bother to be responsible enough not to drive while drunk,who are only bothered about a minor rodent called MUTHALIK,why?? because he encroached upon their "SPACE".
So what if Kumaraswamy's son drinks and goes on a rampage in a hotel.So what??
Do any of us care a damn.Y.SAMPANGI is a honorary politician.He simple represents our society.For those people belonging to the middle class and upper classes who believe that they are safely cacooned from the wrath of the "SYSTEM".Wake up!!!For everyday you wont have "honest" politicians like Y.SAMPANGI saving the day for you.
PS: For people who read this blog,if you are honestly an Indian leave a comment here instead of passing it as just another blog.It will be treated as a signature.Who knows if we can make this a movement,we can root out "honest Bas#@#" like Y.SAMPANGI.Come on its time we take matters into our hands,else there wont be a country left to save!!
Sunday, February 8, 2009
FEELINGS-IX
YEAR 2010
That day when i proposed to Priya i was so happy.It was like all the frustrations which i had in my life until then had vanished.For the first time i knew what it was to be in love with someone, with the other also reciprocating it.Even the way she looked at me seemed different from the next day.Life had changed.It also helped that the duration of our project was extended by another 6 months as our HR head was impressed by our work.At the corner of my mind though i was worried about Divya. How would she take the news of her husband having another woman in his life? I made sure it did not reflect in my exterior outlook because i did not want to lose this special relationship.
AUGUST 25th 2010:
That day when i proposed to Priya i was so happy.It was like all the frustrations which i had in my life until then had vanished.For the first time i knew what it was to be in love with someone, with the other also reciprocating it.Even the way she looked at me seemed different from the next day.Life had changed.It also helped that the duration of our project was extended by another 6 months as our HR head was impressed by our work.At the corner of my mind though i was worried about Divya. How would she take the news of her husband having another woman in his life? I made sure it did not reflect in my exterior outlook because i did not want to lose this special relationship.
AUGUST 25th 2010:
My mother had told that Divya's parents had taken my current number.She had left for America as she had finally managed to obtain a visa.I became a bit apprehensive.I wanted to tell them that their daughter's life was not rosy as they had thought.It was no Phool only Kante.But i dint know what to do.Was i to tell her?She may take it in some other way considering the equation we had.The next month i did not hear from Divya.All the while i was feeling guilty. I had left my friend in the cold outside to fend for herself.Had she come to know of the truth?These feelings haunted me. Life with Priya was different.Visits to the park in the evening,watching the sunrise in the morning,candlelight dinners.It all seemed surreal to me,a neverending dream. Unfortunately Varun was feeling left out.
One day i recieved a phone call from an unknown number. The person on the other side of the line was sobbing.It was Divya!!!She was weeping furiously,hardly able to talk anything. I asked as to where she was.When i went to St.Agnes railway station she stood there helpless with her large suitcases.Her nose had turned red due to the cold,her eyes after what i could perceive as hours of crying.Her husband's place was 1 hour from mine.She hugged me and wept vehemently.I could feel her insecurity.She just asked me one question:
"You will not leave me now right?"I really felt very bad.
If I had told her before she came here,atleast she would have had her parents.In this alien land i had made her feel alone.I brought her to my apartment.I introduced Priya and Varun to Divya as my friends.After making Divya sleep in her room,Priya did not look amused.She asked as to why i had introduced like that.I then had to tell the history between us.I now know that between partners it is good to hide certain things for the sake of the relationship.I could sense a change in Priya's perception of Divya.
I wanted to bring Harish to book.We decided to complain to the Indian Embassy about this so that they could help Divya out. I was spending more time with Divya now. We used to regularly travel together to the Embassy in New York now which almost used to take a whole 2 days.We had decided that we would tell Divya's parents after a while as her parents might not take it well.One day all 4 of us went to shopping in a nearby mall to cheer up Divya. As she dint know that Priya and me were seeing each other she could not understand some of the sensitivites. Sample when we were picking a shirt for me Divya overruled a shirt that Priya had picked for her shirt.
That night Priya asked whether we could talk a while.Absence of communication always raises doubts.I had not been honest with either of them. Priya had felt that i still had feelings for Divya.My efforts to qualm her doubts proved to be a dead end.The embassy were generous to provide a counsel for Divya.The case was shifted later to a court in India.Divya could now go back there in March.
FEB 14th 2011
I was excited this day.The couple of months which had passed were bad for Priya's and my relationship.So i wanted to make this day a special one.As it was a Sunday we had a holiday. I had gone out that morning to make some bookings in a hotel for a romantic dinner.I had also bought a gift for her.When i returned in the afternoon the scene had changed. Priya was sitting on the couch visibly angry. Varun told that the girls had a fight after Priya saw a card which Divya had bought for me.Priya had told her about our relationship and ordered her to get out from the apartment.What had made Priya so insensitive to a fellow woman?What had bought about this transformation?
I now understand that it was her love for me,the feeling that i may leave her,this possessiveness is a trait in every human being.Boys have it more than girls sometimes.But that day i dint understand this.What was supposed to be a romantic day turned out to be a black day for me.I went out in search for Divya after mouthing expletives to Priya.I tried to call Divya's cell but she would not pick up.When she did she did not speak.After repeated calls she told that she was going to the airport which was a 4 hours drive.I now took a taxi and sped to the airport.It helped that the taxi driver was an Indian.
When i reached there i could not find her.Just then i saw her.She was sitting on the corner seats all alone.I went to her and we stood there looking at each other with a long pause.I told her to stay.She told that she had booked a ticket by the "speed ticket" offer and that she did not want to interfere in my life.She was hurt that i had not told her.She had also come to know that i had known of her husband's relationship which she felt showed my true feelings for her.My repeated badgering did not help.She said she had to go.As the announcement for her plane came she held my hand.So many things which we wanted to say before bidding goodbye drew blank.I had let her down again.That was the final straw in our relationship.
She left.By the time i returned to my apartment it was 2 in the morning.As i opened the door there was darkness everywhere.I checked to see if Varun was asleep as i wanted someone to talk to,to share my feelings.I knew only he could understand me now.As i opened the door i saw that Varun and Priya had slept.I was shocked out of my senses.I was so angry that i yelled leading to both of them getting up.
"How could you??!!" "How could you!!" i yelled repeatedly.Now i was cheated.On the same day i had lost two girls.And my friend Varun how could he do this!They tried to calm me down.They were attempting to give some explanations but i would have none of it.I was feeling so disgusted that I stormed out of the apartment.I cried so much that day.It was like the turbulent clouds had come visiting again.I had become emotionless.Sensing something very wrong in me my parents asked whether i wanted to return back.
In the next few days i had left my job and returned to India.I was feeling so lonely now.Not able to comprehend this cruel fate of mine i had gone into depression.After weeks of visits to the psychiatrist and then a job in another company i had finally come to terms with life.I had decided never to fall in love again.This mechanical life of mine continued until 4 years later my parents had found a wife for me in Suchitra.
JULY 23rd 2015
I remembered that i had to ask them as to why they had cheated me.Varun told that whenever Priya would feel insecure about Divya and me she had found an emotional support in him.As one thing led to the other that fateful day they had a lot of wine and whisky and in a moment of weakness they had done it.I could still not accept it.
But as i was returning to my home i felt an easy calmness.I did not have any baggage of the past now.For whatever reason they had done it,it was not intended to.
I had learnt something from all my brief "love"ly experiences.
If Sindhu had taught me to be more careful before making any move,Divya had taught me to be more courageous and honest,not to hide anything from someone you love,to stand up for one's love.Priya had taught me what love was actually,how to put it in perspective and how lack or miscommunication creates this unbridgeable gap between partners.
I decided to be completely honest about my past to my fiance.I went in the evening and told her everything and asked whether she still wanted to marry me.She looked in my eye and said "Yes".
Sometimes in life God deprives us of certain desires in order to make us truly enjoy something which we acquire later in life.I had to go through all the experiences to have a happily married life.I was "MEANT TO LOVE".
Now i understand.
AUGUST 10th 2015
My wife asked me what gift i would give her on our honeymoon.I said that i would write a blog on all my experiences until i met my true soulmate.So here it is i have opened my heart to you.It may not be Great BUT IT IS MINE!! I Jatin Bhagwat am happy.Hope you come up with your experiences too.And when you do dont forget to give me a link to it.
Cheers!!
One day i recieved a phone call from an unknown number. The person on the other side of the line was sobbing.It was Divya!!!She was weeping furiously,hardly able to talk anything. I asked as to where she was.When i went to St.Agnes railway station she stood there helpless with her large suitcases.Her nose had turned red due to the cold,her eyes after what i could perceive as hours of crying.Her husband's place was 1 hour from mine.She hugged me and wept vehemently.I could feel her insecurity.She just asked me one question:
"You will not leave me now right?"I really felt very bad.
If I had told her before she came here,atleast she would have had her parents.In this alien land i had made her feel alone.I brought her to my apartment.I introduced Priya and Varun to Divya as my friends.After making Divya sleep in her room,Priya did not look amused.She asked as to why i had introduced like that.I then had to tell the history between us.I now know that between partners it is good to hide certain things for the sake of the relationship.I could sense a change in Priya's perception of Divya.
I wanted to bring Harish to book.We decided to complain to the Indian Embassy about this so that they could help Divya out. I was spending more time with Divya now. We used to regularly travel together to the Embassy in New York now which almost used to take a whole 2 days.We had decided that we would tell Divya's parents after a while as her parents might not take it well.One day all 4 of us went to shopping in a nearby mall to cheer up Divya. As she dint know that Priya and me were seeing each other she could not understand some of the sensitivites. Sample when we were picking a shirt for me Divya overruled a shirt that Priya had picked for her shirt.
That night Priya asked whether we could talk a while.Absence of communication always raises doubts.I had not been honest with either of them. Priya had felt that i still had feelings for Divya.My efforts to qualm her doubts proved to be a dead end.The embassy were generous to provide a counsel for Divya.The case was shifted later to a court in India.Divya could now go back there in March.
FEB 14th 2011
I was excited this day.The couple of months which had passed were bad for Priya's and my relationship.So i wanted to make this day a special one.As it was a Sunday we had a holiday. I had gone out that morning to make some bookings in a hotel for a romantic dinner.I had also bought a gift for her.When i returned in the afternoon the scene had changed. Priya was sitting on the couch visibly angry. Varun told that the girls had a fight after Priya saw a card which Divya had bought for me.Priya had told her about our relationship and ordered her to get out from the apartment.What had made Priya so insensitive to a fellow woman?What had bought about this transformation?
I now understand that it was her love for me,the feeling that i may leave her,this possessiveness is a trait in every human being.Boys have it more than girls sometimes.But that day i dint understand this.What was supposed to be a romantic day turned out to be a black day for me.I went out in search for Divya after mouthing expletives to Priya.I tried to call Divya's cell but she would not pick up.When she did she did not speak.After repeated calls she told that she was going to the airport which was a 4 hours drive.I now took a taxi and sped to the airport.It helped that the taxi driver was an Indian.
When i reached there i could not find her.Just then i saw her.She was sitting on the corner seats all alone.I went to her and we stood there looking at each other with a long pause.I told her to stay.She told that she had booked a ticket by the "speed ticket" offer and that she did not want to interfere in my life.She was hurt that i had not told her.She had also come to know that i had known of her husband's relationship which she felt showed my true feelings for her.My repeated badgering did not help.She said she had to go.As the announcement for her plane came she held my hand.So many things which we wanted to say before bidding goodbye drew blank.I had let her down again.That was the final straw in our relationship.
She left.By the time i returned to my apartment it was 2 in the morning.As i opened the door there was darkness everywhere.I checked to see if Varun was asleep as i wanted someone to talk to,to share my feelings.I knew only he could understand me now.As i opened the door i saw that Varun and Priya had slept.I was shocked out of my senses.I was so angry that i yelled leading to both of them getting up.
"How could you??!!" "How could you!!" i yelled repeatedly.Now i was cheated.On the same day i had lost two girls.And my friend Varun how could he do this!They tried to calm me down.They were attempting to give some explanations but i would have none of it.I was feeling so disgusted that I stormed out of the apartment.I cried so much that day.It was like the turbulent clouds had come visiting again.I had become emotionless.Sensing something very wrong in me my parents asked whether i wanted to return back.
In the next few days i had left my job and returned to India.I was feeling so lonely now.Not able to comprehend this cruel fate of mine i had gone into depression.After weeks of visits to the psychiatrist and then a job in another company i had finally come to terms with life.I had decided never to fall in love again.This mechanical life of mine continued until 4 years later my parents had found a wife for me in Suchitra.
JULY 23rd 2015
I remembered that i had to ask them as to why they had cheated me.Varun told that whenever Priya would feel insecure about Divya and me she had found an emotional support in him.As one thing led to the other that fateful day they had a lot of wine and whisky and in a moment of weakness they had done it.I could still not accept it.
But as i was returning to my home i felt an easy calmness.I did not have any baggage of the past now.For whatever reason they had done it,it was not intended to.
I had learnt something from all my brief "love"ly experiences.
If Sindhu had taught me to be more careful before making any move,Divya had taught me to be more courageous and honest,not to hide anything from someone you love,to stand up for one's love.Priya had taught me what love was actually,how to put it in perspective and how lack or miscommunication creates this unbridgeable gap between partners.
I decided to be completely honest about my past to my fiance.I went in the evening and told her everything and asked whether she still wanted to marry me.She looked in my eye and said "Yes".
Sometimes in life God deprives us of certain desires in order to make us truly enjoy something which we acquire later in life.I had to go through all the experiences to have a happily married life.I was "MEANT TO LOVE".
Now i understand.
AUGUST 10th 2015
My wife asked me what gift i would give her on our honeymoon.I said that i would write a blog on all my experiences until i met my true soulmate.So here it is i have opened my heart to you.It may not be Great BUT IT IS MINE!! I Jatin Bhagwat am happy.Hope you come up with your experiences too.And when you do dont forget to give me a link to it.
Cheers!!
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
FEELINGS-VIII
YEAR 2010
That night we both went into a popular hangout of New York,Nirvana.As we sat down in our place to have dinner,two drunken white men came to our table and started abusing us.Apparently they had lost their job in the company where they worked.They thought we Indians were responsible for this as jobs were being outsourced to Indian engineers.First we took it in good humor as we had heard of such experiences from other expats living there.Then they took it a notch higher and this statement "Son of a snake charmer and a prostitute" really angered me.We dint know that such racist mindset and ignorant people still lived in the 21st century.
We saw that other white men there were not coming to our rescue,so we thought of just leaving that place and go.As we were leaving one of the men brazenly pulled Priya's arm and tried to manhandle her.I tried to talk them into leaving her.They got annoyed and both guys started punching me hurling abuses all the while.I was no Rajnikanth,but still tried to fight them but after 30 seconds had blackened out.When i regained consciousness Priya was looking over me.
As my hair was falling over the wound near the eye,she carefully caressed it away.I felt i was in 9th heaven.
Apparently the manager in Nirvana had called 911 and the public had come to her rescue.(Which ever country may it be,people come to rescue of women but men are meant to be battered).I had got some minor concussions with a minor cut on the face.I was put up in a small clinic.Apparently in America it was like i had returned from war.The grave expressions with which the doctor was talking exemplified this.I now understood how americans give importance to each life,whereas in India people react after a major blast only if the death toll is more than 50,else they ask "oh only 10,not big blast then".
The policeman who had come there was more concerned about my background than the profile of the thugs.He was virtually justifying this act.The contrast between the first world and third world was now blurring in my eyes.The glamorous lights of "AMERICA!!" were not that bright any more.The "BIG AMERICAN DREAM" was busted.The lax attitude of the police officer was because i was a brown man.The seniors with whom we had come,came visiting.I was advised rest that day.The next day one of our senior asked us to join them to one of his friend's place.
On the way he was telling how brilliant his friend Harish Kamkelkar was.He said that they were colleagues before and now Harish had shifted to New York to manage the company's division there.We reached Harish's place in downtown Manhattan with the taxi driver looking at me suspiciously throughout the route as though i was going to bring the next highrise down.
The door opened and i was left stunned.It was Divya's husband.I had known his name was Harish but had not known his full name and all.I looked around to see if Divya was there.Harish had not recognized me.How was he to remember one face among a 1000 random faces who came to his wedding?He warmly hugged my senior Girish which highlighted how thick they were.He later called his wife Cathreen!! an american. I was shocked.Had he left Divya?.It had not been even 5 months since they had wed.Girish interrupted me to say that Harish would be rejoining the San Jose division.
Harish asked me something but i was not listening.Priya slightly nudged me that Harish was asking something.On our ride back home Girish said that Harish had married against his parents' wishes.I was puzzled.To remove my doubts i called up to my uncle home in Kumta from an ISD line.The conversation was petering along and i quietly brought up the issue of Divya.Uncle said that she had not yet got visa even after 2 attempts and she was again going to Chennai after a couple of days for this.She would be soon joining Harish!.He asked whether to give the phone to Divya which i politely declined,as i dint have the heart to talk to her.
I had only heard of how some NRI boys used to cheat girls from India specially the rural ones,but this had happened to my dearest friend,no love!.Divya was a sensitive girl whom i knew had built castles about her life and all.She was wronged by not getting to marry her real love,me!!,but i had chickened out and left her in the cold.Now this,this would really shatter her(for that matter any girl).As i was lost in my thoughts Priya asked me what was on my mind.
Our relationship had grown from hate to friendship.We both were now able to understand each other's thoughts even without speaking.It had matured but my mind was still lost on Divya.We returned to San Jose.Varun had joined us there.
16th July 2010:
Our company had organised a party as part of the 50th anniversary of the founding of our company.After dinner there was a ball.Couples were picked on lot for the dance.Priya and me had got different people as partners,but she surprisingly came up to my partner and asked whether they could switch partners.The hot(I mean really hot,i dint want to change ;)) white girl agreed.The dance was a different experience for me.I had changed a lot,from the boy who used to go weak in the guts department when around girls had now learned to live life.Priya had taught that it was okay to have a bit of fun in life.Her exuberance had rubbed off on me.Having never held a girl before,it was embarrassing initially but after a while it seemed right.
After the ball, drinks was served.Rubens literally put the drink in my mouth as he himself was in high spirits.I now drank after coming to America.It was like i had found unlimited freedom.A new alter ego had developed within me.Sitting outside in the lawn looking at the black spotted moon,Priya and me talked a dime to a dozen.I told her everything,even my two brushes with love and also what i had learned about Divya.
This brought to the fore the feminist within Priya.She started abusing Harish and how he should be sent to jail for ruining a girl's life.As she was speaking my respect for her grew.Over the past 5 months i had come to like her many characteristics.Her face shining with the moon in the background made me forget all other things in my mind.As my feelings of love churned out of control in my stomach "I LOVE YOU",i blurted out.Its amazing how certain things which you plan to tell in a certain way come out in the most unplanned of moments.
She looked at me as though a candle was lit in her heart too.But she just walked away slowly from there.I was saddened.Had i lost her?As i was contemplating these various doubts she just turned back and ran towards me.We kissed!!(The second planned thing which just happened).It was so pure and seemed so right.She said that she had planned this run after a famous Spanish movie!!(Whoever said movies do not influence people!!)
I was so happy that day that i dint know what hit me after it...
JULY 23rd 2015:
As i opened the album..."Jatin!!" came a scream.As i looked up it was.... PRIYA.They were now married.I dint know how to react.The girl whom i had proposed to first was now married to my best friend.Memories of how i had come to hate Varun flashed.But now the hate was no longer there.I had come to terms with reality.I dint want to live with the bad memories forever.I decided i had to get on with my life.As i was leaving from there,i remembered something and.....
That night we both went into a popular hangout of New York,Nirvana.As we sat down in our place to have dinner,two drunken white men came to our table and started abusing us.Apparently they had lost their job in the company where they worked.They thought we Indians were responsible for this as jobs were being outsourced to Indian engineers.First we took it in good humor as we had heard of such experiences from other expats living there.Then they took it a notch higher and this statement "Son of a snake charmer and a prostitute" really angered me.We dint know that such racist mindset and ignorant people still lived in the 21st century.
We saw that other white men there were not coming to our rescue,so we thought of just leaving that place and go.As we were leaving one of the men brazenly pulled Priya's arm and tried to manhandle her.I tried to talk them into leaving her.They got annoyed and both guys started punching me hurling abuses all the while.I was no Rajnikanth,but still tried to fight them but after 30 seconds had blackened out.When i regained consciousness Priya was looking over me.
As my hair was falling over the wound near the eye,she carefully caressed it away.I felt i was in 9th heaven.
Apparently the manager in Nirvana had called 911 and the public had come to her rescue.(Which ever country may it be,people come to rescue of women but men are meant to be battered).I had got some minor concussions with a minor cut on the face.I was put up in a small clinic.Apparently in America it was like i had returned from war.The grave expressions with which the doctor was talking exemplified this.I now understood how americans give importance to each life,whereas in India people react after a major blast only if the death toll is more than 50,else they ask "oh only 10,not big blast then".
The policeman who had come there was more concerned about my background than the profile of the thugs.He was virtually justifying this act.The contrast between the first world and third world was now blurring in my eyes.The glamorous lights of "AMERICA!!" were not that bright any more.The "BIG AMERICAN DREAM" was busted.The lax attitude of the police officer was because i was a brown man.The seniors with whom we had come,came visiting.I was advised rest that day.The next day one of our senior asked us to join them to one of his friend's place.
On the way he was telling how brilliant his friend Harish Kamkelkar was.He said that they were colleagues before and now Harish had shifted to New York to manage the company's division there.We reached Harish's place in downtown Manhattan with the taxi driver looking at me suspiciously throughout the route as though i was going to bring the next highrise down.
The door opened and i was left stunned.It was Divya's husband.I had known his name was Harish but had not known his full name and all.I looked around to see if Divya was there.Harish had not recognized me.How was he to remember one face among a 1000 random faces who came to his wedding?He warmly hugged my senior Girish which highlighted how thick they were.He later called his wife Cathreen!! an american. I was shocked.Had he left Divya?.It had not been even 5 months since they had wed.Girish interrupted me to say that Harish would be rejoining the San Jose division.
Harish asked me something but i was not listening.Priya slightly nudged me that Harish was asking something.On our ride back home Girish said that Harish had married against his parents' wishes.I was puzzled.To remove my doubts i called up to my uncle home in Kumta from an ISD line.The conversation was petering along and i quietly brought up the issue of Divya.Uncle said that she had not yet got visa even after 2 attempts and she was again going to Chennai after a couple of days for this.She would be soon joining Harish!.He asked whether to give the phone to Divya which i politely declined,as i dint have the heart to talk to her.
I had only heard of how some NRI boys used to cheat girls from India specially the rural ones,but this had happened to my dearest friend,no love!.Divya was a sensitive girl whom i knew had built castles about her life and all.She was wronged by not getting to marry her real love,me!!,but i had chickened out and left her in the cold.Now this,this would really shatter her(for that matter any girl).As i was lost in my thoughts Priya asked me what was on my mind.
Our relationship had grown from hate to friendship.We both were now able to understand each other's thoughts even without speaking.It had matured but my mind was still lost on Divya.We returned to San Jose.Varun had joined us there.
16th July 2010:
Our company had organised a party as part of the 50th anniversary of the founding of our company.After dinner there was a ball.Couples were picked on lot for the dance.Priya and me had got different people as partners,but she surprisingly came up to my partner and asked whether they could switch partners.The hot(I mean really hot,i dint want to change ;)) white girl agreed.The dance was a different experience for me.I had changed a lot,from the boy who used to go weak in the guts department when around girls had now learned to live life.Priya had taught that it was okay to have a bit of fun in life.Her exuberance had rubbed off on me.Having never held a girl before,it was embarrassing initially but after a while it seemed right.
After the ball, drinks was served.Rubens literally put the drink in my mouth as he himself was in high spirits.I now drank after coming to America.It was like i had found unlimited freedom.A new alter ego had developed within me.Sitting outside in the lawn looking at the black spotted moon,Priya and me talked a dime to a dozen.I told her everything,even my two brushes with love and also what i had learned about Divya.
This brought to the fore the feminist within Priya.She started abusing Harish and how he should be sent to jail for ruining a girl's life.As she was speaking my respect for her grew.Over the past 5 months i had come to like her many characteristics.Her face shining with the moon in the background made me forget all other things in my mind.As my feelings of love churned out of control in my stomach "I LOVE YOU",i blurted out.Its amazing how certain things which you plan to tell in a certain way come out in the most unplanned of moments.
She looked at me as though a candle was lit in her heart too.But she just walked away slowly from there.I was saddened.Had i lost her?As i was contemplating these various doubts she just turned back and ran towards me.We kissed!!(The second planned thing which just happened).It was so pure and seemed so right.She said that she had planned this run after a famous Spanish movie!!(Whoever said movies do not influence people!!)
I was so happy that day that i dint know what hit me after it...
JULY 23rd 2015:
As i opened the album..."Jatin!!" came a scream.As i looked up it was.... PRIYA.They were now married.I dint know how to react.The girl whom i had proposed to first was now married to my best friend.Memories of how i had come to hate Varun flashed.But now the hate was no longer there.I had come to terms with reality.I dint want to live with the bad memories forever.I decided i had to get on with my life.As i was leaving from there,i remembered something and.....
Monday, February 2, 2009
FEELINGS VII
YEAR 2010:
Initially we felt very embarrassed to share the same apartment.It was new to both of us though in some way she was more accepting of it than me.Since the mansion was spacious with 2 bedrooms and bathrooms we dint get in the way of each other.Our mutual hatred had not lessened as we dint have to interact much.
On the night of 16th March she received a Skype call from her home in Bangalore.She had gone out to buy some groceries(yes we used to cook only for ourselves).As i could not bear to hear the repeated ping sounds from her laptop i decided to mute the volume.On the screen was a message from her father that her grandmother had died.I dint know how to react.I just went back to my room.
Just then the door unlocked and she went straight to her laptop.I was thinking in my mind that she would breakdown and i would have to step in to console her and all,which i did not want to get into.As i was seeing her from the corner of my room,she calmly took her just bought groceries,kept some vegetables in the fridge and went about her cooking after having read the message in her computer.(There was a contrast in our cooking timings as well.She was the more organized as she used to cook the dishes for night in the morning before leaving to office but i used to come back and cook.)I thought to myself "how heartless this girl is?,her grandmother has died and she doesnt even shed a tear!!".
That night as i lay on my bed i heard some noises from the drawing room.As i switched on the lamp i saw her weeping copiously with her legs crouched on the floor.I could not help but console her as i had a weakness for tears specially if it was girls.I realised that day she was like coconut,tough exterior with soft inside.I was happy that i had acted magnanimous and made her realise that i was a good guy.But the next day was the same like any other.Limited talk.
One day it was tough going for me in office.I had to give a demo of the code i had written but i was not getting it right.I requested the firangis and some other Indians there as well,but all were either busy or appearing so.I dint ask Priya although she was just in the next cubicle as I thought it would hurt my ego.By evening i had alleviated the big problem to a small one but without it,the whole program was not running.
Just then our associate head came for our demos.Out of the blue Priya came to my help.I dint know when she had cracked what the problem was,but she had been watching me.I did the necessary corrections and by the time Alec came the demo was up and running.I thanked her that night in the apartment.Atleast i wanted to be different than her when someone helps.
On another day i had work till late night.As the thought of having to go to the apartment,cook and then eat,i knew that i had to go hungry to bed as all the hotels nearby were non-vegetarian food and no Indian hotels were in the vicinity.I dint want to eat some place else and spoil my stomach for the rest of the week as it had happened in the first week of our joining.As i reached my apartment late night i went through the fridge to see if there was some leftovers.I suddenly noticed some plates with food kept on the table with a note.
"Learn to wake up more early and cook food in the morning itself,this is only for
today".
Although it was caustically written,i felt good that she atleast cared.
July 4th 2010:
It was American Independence day and a holiday.As it was followed up by the weekend it was like an extended holiday.Some Indians whom we had befriended in the company offered us to come along with them to New York to spend the weekend.We happily agreed.Priya had seen New York before when she had come along with her parents for one of her relatives wedding.We lodged ourselves in a hotel,one room for each.
In the evening Priya asked whether i would come along with her to see the nightlife of New York.I agreed and we both first went to Madison Square Garden.The place left me stunned.There were many competitions going on near the nearby Planet Hollywood mall.There was a competition where if we won we could select from any one of Louis Bagge T-shirt,Lee jeans,Sketches Brown shoes or a Verlitto heels.Priya tried first but failed at it.I saw that she badly wanted the heels.I decided to try my hand and by pure piece of luck i was able to win it.The host asked as to what i wanted?
I dint know what i was thinking when i blurted out Verlitto ...heel...heels."Oh the nice man wants the heels for his girlfriend!" announced the host in such an emphatic tone as though he had won it and called us both to the stage and made me give the heels to her taking a snap meanwhile.After we came out i was still in contemplative mind as to what i had just done.I dint want to even come close to fall in love again as i had failed when i tried.
She just asked me for a minute and went inside a store.Half an hour later(I was livid at her timings -one minute is not half an hour,even in India!!,but women;) cant help) she came out with a Shirt and handed it to me and said.
"Wear this,atleast you will not look boring!".As we walked back to the hotel i was mulling over the various reasons for which she bought a Shirt for me as soon as i had won her the heels.
1)She did not want to keep any 'ehsaan'.
2)As we had become friends she might have thought it has a return gesture for my benevolence.
3)She seriously thought i looked crappy which made me more worried.
4)She liked me? now that option was a doubt.
In the night i checked into one of the internet cafes to see my emails.A new mail had arrived and it also said that (one male;)) Varun would be joining us San Jose to work in our vertical.
JULY 23rd 2015
I turned back and it was Varun!.Floods of memories of our friendship flashed through my mind and we tightly embraced each other(like in Dil Chahta Hai) and kiddishly wept as well.I had missed my friend all these 4 years and did not want to further.We talked a lot.He was married also but he told that he dint have the heart to call me as he thought i would spurn him away.His wife had gone out.As he was making tea in his kitchen for us i saw that his marriage album was lying about on the side table.As i opened it.....
Initially we felt very embarrassed to share the same apartment.It was new to both of us though in some way she was more accepting of it than me.Since the mansion was spacious with 2 bedrooms and bathrooms we dint get in the way of each other.Our mutual hatred had not lessened as we dint have to interact much.
On the night of 16th March she received a Skype call from her home in Bangalore.She had gone out to buy some groceries(yes we used to cook only for ourselves).As i could not bear to hear the repeated ping sounds from her laptop i decided to mute the volume.On the screen was a message from her father that her grandmother had died.I dint know how to react.I just went back to my room.
Just then the door unlocked and she went straight to her laptop.I was thinking in my mind that she would breakdown and i would have to step in to console her and all,which i did not want to get into.As i was seeing her from the corner of my room,she calmly took her just bought groceries,kept some vegetables in the fridge and went about her cooking after having read the message in her computer.(There was a contrast in our cooking timings as well.She was the more organized as she used to cook the dishes for night in the morning before leaving to office but i used to come back and cook.)I thought to myself "how heartless this girl is?,her grandmother has died and she doesnt even shed a tear!!".
That night as i lay on my bed i heard some noises from the drawing room.As i switched on the lamp i saw her weeping copiously with her legs crouched on the floor.I could not help but console her as i had a weakness for tears specially if it was girls.I realised that day she was like coconut,tough exterior with soft inside.I was happy that i had acted magnanimous and made her realise that i was a good guy.But the next day was the same like any other.Limited talk.
One day it was tough going for me in office.I had to give a demo of the code i had written but i was not getting it right.I requested the firangis and some other Indians there as well,but all were either busy or appearing so.I dint ask Priya although she was just in the next cubicle as I thought it would hurt my ego.By evening i had alleviated the big problem to a small one but without it,the whole program was not running.
Just then our associate head came for our demos.Out of the blue Priya came to my help.I dint know when she had cracked what the problem was,but she had been watching me.I did the necessary corrections and by the time Alec came the demo was up and running.I thanked her that night in the apartment.Atleast i wanted to be different than her when someone helps.
On another day i had work till late night.As the thought of having to go to the apartment,cook and then eat,i knew that i had to go hungry to bed as all the hotels nearby were non-vegetarian food and no Indian hotels were in the vicinity.I dint want to eat some place else and spoil my stomach for the rest of the week as it had happened in the first week of our joining.As i reached my apartment late night i went through the fridge to see if there was some leftovers.I suddenly noticed some plates with food kept on the table with a note.
"Learn to wake up more early and cook food in the morning itself,this is only for
today".
Although it was caustically written,i felt good that she atleast cared.
July 4th 2010:
It was American Independence day and a holiday.As it was followed up by the weekend it was like an extended holiday.Some Indians whom we had befriended in the company offered us to come along with them to New York to spend the weekend.We happily agreed.Priya had seen New York before when she had come along with her parents for one of her relatives wedding.We lodged ourselves in a hotel,one room for each.
In the evening Priya asked whether i would come along with her to see the nightlife of New York.I agreed and we both first went to Madison Square Garden.The place left me stunned.There were many competitions going on near the nearby Planet Hollywood mall.There was a competition where if we won we could select from any one of Louis Bagge T-shirt,Lee jeans,Sketches Brown shoes or a Verlitto heels.Priya tried first but failed at it.I saw that she badly wanted the heels.I decided to try my hand and by pure piece of luck i was able to win it.The host asked as to what i wanted?
I dint know what i was thinking when i blurted out Verlitto ...heel...heels."Oh the nice man wants the heels for his girlfriend!" announced the host in such an emphatic tone as though he had won it and called us both to the stage and made me give the heels to her taking a snap meanwhile.After we came out i was still in contemplative mind as to what i had just done.I dint want to even come close to fall in love again as i had failed when i tried.
She just asked me for a minute and went inside a store.Half an hour later(I was livid at her timings -one minute is not half an hour,even in India!!,but women;) cant help) she came out with a Shirt and handed it to me and said.
"Wear this,atleast you will not look boring!".As we walked back to the hotel i was mulling over the various reasons for which she bought a Shirt for me as soon as i had won her the heels.
1)She did not want to keep any 'ehsaan'.
2)As we had become friends she might have thought it has a return gesture for my benevolence.
3)She seriously thought i looked crappy which made me more worried.
4)She liked me? now that option was a doubt.
In the night i checked into one of the internet cafes to see my emails.A new mail had arrived and it also said that (one male;)) Varun would be joining us San Jose to work in our vertical.
JULY 23rd 2015
I turned back and it was Varun!.Floods of memories of our friendship flashed through my mind and we tightly embraced each other(like in Dil Chahta Hai) and kiddishly wept as well.I had missed my friend all these 4 years and did not want to further.We talked a lot.He was married also but he told that he dint have the heart to call me as he thought i would spurn him away.His wife had gone out.As he was making tea in his kitchen for us i saw that his marriage album was lying about on the side table.As i opened it.....
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